Make a wish. {30 days of visioning into manifesting}

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The first time I visioned my five beautiful dreams, among them were a space of my own, a disco ball and a trip to NC. I found the feeling inside of the dreams which was freedom.

I was seeking freedom. I had yet to understand what that meant, and somehow after years of a lot of tough experiences, I was open to receiving the message of freedom.

All of those beautiful dreams came to be so fast my nervous system was struggling to keep up.

Just 24 hours after I visioned the NC trip I was opening an email with an invitation inside of it to teach at a retreat in my childhood home of North Carolina.

The space manifested as The Loft which I have held as my heart space for three years and the disco ball was one of the first items ever put inside of it.

The wish that brought the magic was of freedom. I let go of what it would look like as the dreams started to come true. I held onto freedom.

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I manifested him from sticky notes, vision pages and boards and my magical man jar. (More about that in the course!)

I didn't believe he existed, this man. I didn't believe I was lovable as a single mom with three kids. But he was my wish. I visioned him down to his name and hair color. The story is wild and crazy and blows my mind when I recall all the parts.

He was my wish. And he came to me. I didn't believe it but I wished it, I felt it, I focused on it. Until the day I knew it was true. Our focus becomes our reality. Our faith lets us make our wish while still being scared of what we want. Visioning is what takes us into that future self.

My wish that brought the magic was love.

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When :: March 2nd for 30 days

Why :: A wish can become our magic.

How much :: (my gift to you when you sign up for the Magic Making Circle by March 1st) or... $59.00 for 30 days of inspiration, prompts, action and a virtual space where we will play together. This will be the most amazing warm up time for the Magic Making Circle that I could think of! If you have been wondering if that circle is where you belong to love up your life right now, start here, now.

$59.00

Add to Cart What I will ask of you for these 30 days ::

Make space to be here. Allow yourself the faith in wishes. Use these prompts to spend time with yourself. To light up in a new way. To discover a you that may have hidden out, buried by the stresses of daily living and lost dreams.

Create magical pages, cards, boards, gifts... filled with words and visions and feelings that surround them. As you do this, you harness the vibrations of the Universe. You vibrate in a new way. These creations become a way for you to align what you want with what you have. They create manifesting magic in your life.

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I am going to ask you to make wishes. Each day in the form of visioning. The wishes become the prayer dust to manifesting what we desire in our lives. Our vibration of focus is creating the path of our future self.

The feeling inside of the dreams. The secret messages. The boards holding our monthly rhythm. The surprises.

The moment we blow out the candle and whisper our wish to the Universe...

  • Wishes
  • ‘I am’
  • Beautiful dreams
  • Wantings
  • Desires
  • Awakenings
  • Words of spirit
  • Secret messages
  • Blessings
  • Manifesting
  • Spirit Guides
  • Love languages
  • Love and love and more love
  • The sun and stars and moon
  • Storytelling into the night

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Through ritualized vision work we can allow each day to guide us towards living joyously, even (especially) when things are hard or challenges arise.

What will you need ::

  • A blank journal, I love Moleskine XL Cahier, but anything you love works beautifully.
  • Large pieces of cardboard or poster board or a bulletin board.
  • Card stock. Start collecting pieces of thick paper from packaging that comes in the mail or you can cut up thin cardboard boxes.
  • Some magazines. Ask people to start saving them for you. Go to hair salons and offices and ask for their old magazines. Check out libraries for magazine sales.
  • A glue stick.
  • Scissors.
  • Some space and time.
  • Faith that playing in this way can transform your wishes into magic.

collage visioning space

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collage secret messages

How we breathe in circles.

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.”  ~ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

i am badass luxury

I am warm spiced surprise.

I am the opulent lip.

I am passion rising.

I am sweet morning.

I am built with artistry, feeling, wonder and soul.

I am possible. I am champagne bubbles.

I am finding inspiration everywhere.

I am the sacred spirit.

I am song of devotion.

I am rewriting what's expected.

I am the strong sensitive type.

I am fire and crystal untold.

I am love and lust.

I am the high and low.

I am displaying layers of meaning.

I am evolving one wild and precious life.

I am luminous in the dark.

I am hungry for change.

I am open for fun.

I am tender.

I am integrating new ways.

I am Phoenix Rising...with a touch of self adhesive.

I am the evolution of connection.

I am found.

I am unbroken.

I am kaleidoscope alchemy.

I am soulflower.

I am a new degree of possibility.

I am ready to make it happen.

I am a cake for every occasion.

I am radiant nude.

I am the hungry traveler.

I am finding creative freedom.

I am a traveler of delicious comforts.

I am a part of it all.

I am absorbing delicious self discovery.

I am destined to be dazzled.

I am a magical place.

I am room for a miracle.

I am the co-existence of light and shadow.

I am beginning.

I am tender warrior.

I am intense and light at the same time.

I am glitter and glass.

I am a player of light.

I am first, gooey, sensitive.

I am a soul of light, all aglow.

I am the only centerpiece.

I am today.

I am (fill in yours here).

(Compiled from the circle of women in Spirits of Joy, A vision book course running through January. Can you feel the breath, the pulse, the safety and the penetration into a deeper spirit? This is how we breathe in circles.)

Often the best way we can see ourselves is through the reflection not in a mirror but in the eyes of compassion, empathy and fierce magic. Someone who has walked in our story. And then we become that for another. And the breath we exhale becomes their inhale and we need not push or judge because we find ourselves in safety.

And the 'I am' that surprises us from found words. Another's words becoming where we are traveling to next or holding us in a pause that is about to transform into tomorrow.

In a circle is where breath can expand and flow from one to another and words are held by the hands and hearts of community of choice. It is where space can be held to listen. Space where you are heard and no one is trying to solve you, just see you.

Soulwork is how we commune. Story is how we gather. Prompting is where we grow. Listening is how we feed. Prayer is how we ask and accept. Surrender is what leads us to change. Showing up in our now is how we embody all we desire.

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“There is a community of the spirit.

Join it, and feel the delight

of walking in the noisy street

and being the noise.

Drink all your passion,

and be a disgrace.

Close both eyes

to see with the other eye” ~ Rumi

***

Questions keep floating in about Magic Making Circle ::

The number I hold inside of a circle always carries an energy for me. 100 is my sweet spot. When the group is given boundaries and accountability and freedom and modeling it thrives.

Magic Making Circle will be capped at 100. There seems to be a lot of fear around this number. We may or may not get to 100 but that is the number I am visioning as the maximum of sweet spot energy and community. I love 100. It also will be the only group you'll be able to work with me inside of for 6 months, so my desire is that for those who love prompts and soulwork and the circling with women, that they choose to take this journey with us. My goal was to keep the investment affordable and open the access to a powerful circle to those who believe in the work and the practice. Masterminds with 20 or less tend to average in the thousands and I want to create a model that works for me and my life, and what I know is your life. So I am creating circles, rather than masterminds. I am finding ways to keep the mastermind option open but not vital to the circle.

A circle holds power because it is a community of choosing. This cannot be underestimated.

Can 100 people be intimate? Well, I decided to ask my circle of 409 women, who have all been part of one or multiple programs I have run over the last few years, to talk about this. Here is what some had to say.

"The unique power of Hannah's circles, even the very large Alumni group, feels as though I'm sitting in a cozy living room with my most precious, loving friends, with their arms around me." ~ Lisa

"You are a beautiful soul, through and through authentic and you have the gift of bringing women together to make magic in their lives and hearts . It is felt so viscerally no matter the size of the group." ~ AnaLisa

"There is something so important and so soul-filling about having a strong circle of love, support, and stretch." ~ Xandra

"There is something very different about how Hannah's groups form. There is an unspoken congruence that is felt within this safe space. Hannah is not in your face every single moment, seeking attention, in fact she has the balance right, she passes it over to us. She's there to guide, facilitate, prompt, nudge and cajole us. Everyone is incredibly supportive in ways that are hard to describe. These are a band of women who want to create good in their worlds to turn around their thoughts and perspectives, and ultimately be surrounded by love and joy rather than be faced with negativity and hate. What I have experienced here is that when you begin to flourish, the group holds you and prods you to move even further into your light, stretching yourself without breaking. All of this refers to a group of approximately 400! With Hannah at the Helm, it will be magic." ~ Julia

"We are all walking a different path and whenever i have reached out to this group i have received an abundance of unique responses. it's like drawing on the deepest, most beautiful and loving wellspring of knowledge and experiences! when i circle with these women i can be my true self. there is no criticism, judgement or negativity. i have only ever received love, understanding & constructive feedback. i can go deeper with my vulnerability within the open arms of this group and grow even more from witnessing the journey of others." ~ Jenny

"Wherever you are in the world, whatever time of day , if you need to talk, someone somewhere will answer. We are global." ~ Mary

I hope these voices help you to glimpse what this circle will feel like.

Other questions ::

Can you explain the monthly calls?

Yes!!! We will do the 6 monhtly calls via a Spreecast. Spreecast is a video feed that allows me to either talk and receive questions via a live written feed or I can bring someone on with me in person. Most of the Spreecasts will be with me addressing the written feed, but there may be times I arrange to have someone come on as a guest if appropriate. These will be recorded.

Often a question from one is a question from many. That is what these Spreecasts will hope to achieve, a way to in live time address where you are, what is coming up, what questions you have. You will be able to chat with eac hother over on the side in live time. If you miss the feed live you can watch and then come to the group page later and we'll still be talking about all of it.

How much time will we need to commit to the circle?

What you put in is what will be returned. For some that will be a large investment, for others it will be smaller. We all land and show up in different places. There is no wrong or right, there is what you need, what you desire. I cannot create this investment for you, you must decide this.

Some of you may be inside a 'cave' right now in your lives or a highly sensitive bubble of protection, as I was for years. You may be inside of raising multiple children while wanting to foster a passion or desire or skill. Some will be inside of already thriving businesses and looking to have a place they can go to for support and perhaps a new direction. There are some who may be quietly reading and processing inside of the group while others are out there, asking, probing, sharing. We all are able to gain such insight and movement from those who have more time or are more open to posting in the group.

I will ask of you that if you feel shy or quiet that you push your boundaries just a bit and spend some time learning to connect in this way that will draw you to the story of others and they to you. I will ask of you to learn to hold space for each other without trying to fix or compare, but to listen and create safety. I will ask that you show up. I will ask that you learn to land outside of comfort zones into desires.

For those who are ready to commit even further to their work or passions there will be gathering weekends at the Loft in Rhode Island for seriously fun and productive masterminds. You'll get all of me for a weekend to explore, question, hold space and prompt you forward. This is a beautiful opportunity to gather a friend or colleague or two and create a fantastic weekend together. (These will be announced in February.)

Having a circle like this to hold you, the talkative or the shy, the open or the cautious, is a gift. One that we will adventure inside of for half of a year. I am beyond grateful to have this time together.

This circle will become a network of women lifting you up, seeing you, listening to you, pulsing along with your unique vibration. You will discover how we breathe in circles.

And it will be beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spirits of Joy ~ 30 days visioning you

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What:: 30 Days of Joy Up Soulwork Prompts for Creating A Vision Book and connecting back to you!
When:: September 1st, 2013
How:: An email each day for 30 days with a Vision Book prompt and some story telling from me, including videos from myself and some of my friends who are rocking their visions!

Soulwork is about connection to self, to the now and that future woman we see and want to flow into.

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Allowing ourselves to make what become vision books, is powerful. We come alive as we find a part of ourselves that has been lost or longing to come out. These prompts not only become part of our books, but our daily thoughts and often allow our writing practice to expand and gain depth.

Through daily vision work you can allow each day to guide you towards living joyously, even when things are hard or challenges arise.

Know yourself. Use these prompts to spend time with yourself. To light up in a new way. To discover a you that may have hidden out, buried by the stresses of daily living.

Create pages filled with words and visions and feelings that surround them. As you do this you harness the true magic of the Universe. You vibrate in a new way. These books become a way for you to align what you want with what you have. They create manifesting magic in your life.

Visioning allows you to love this life now while creating a future of your dreams.

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Soulwork will prompt you into new places and ideas, it will ask you to push beyond that safe place and dip into seeing truth, beauty, connection, love, joy, dreams and ritual.

  • 30 days of prompts.
  • 30 days of soulwork.
  • 30 days of creative exploration.
  • 30 days of you.
  • 30 days to creating a vision book.
  • 30 days of connection to spirit.
  • 30 days of the gift of joy.

"I am missing Hannah's daily emails, it had become part of my morning ritual. I would read them on my cell phone before getting out of bed every morning. Then lay here quietly reflecting on them before beginning anything else."

"I have had so many little insights into me & my joy. I appreciate you and the tribe more than I can say ~ Namaste ~ Love to all " ♥

"Hannah, this beautiful journey has grown through love. Your love, that you share with all of us."

"I have included reading my prompts and taking the time to process your beautiful words in my ritual. So inspiring and a lovely way with a cup of tea to start my day. Please don't let me miss the next program. Thank you for changing my mornings. xxx"

"It is my turn to thank you (and everyone) for the tasks and gracious love that is here in this tribe."

"Thank you, dear soul...this month has been life changing for me."

"I am a believer now. A believer of visioning."

There is a closed Facebook group just for those of you working through these 30 days. You can share pictures, thoughts, aha moments and see the daily journey of soulwork from others who are going through the days. Totally optional but a beautiful way to connect.

I've been visioning since I was young. As a highly-senstive child (who never knew that term) I had a brutal time dealing with my feelings. I felt overun by sensations and sadness and joy and every possible feeling you could have. One of the ways I learned to 'see' those feelings was to cut and paste. To go into a magazine and let the words and images talk to me.

Now I find it is the way I center. It is how I allow myself to know my dreams. It is how I manifest from a feeling into reality. It is a safe space to receive messages and words from the Universe through these magazines and let myself feel without fear.

Each time I complete a new page I want to stare at it for hours, sometimes I make free pages and hang them on the wall.

Vision books help us write new stories, chapters and pages for our lives. We don't have to stay stuck or in fear. We can step into our light. Maybe it seems crazy that a little book full of magazine cut outs can help us heal and create beauty in our lives. A little crazy never hurt! Let's play...

PicMonkey Collage chels and i am

Spirits of Joy - 30 Days of Prompts

Questions you might have::

Is this a journaling course? Nope, I've never been good at keeping a journal so I wouldn't be the one to guide you to that. But I do love prompts, writing exploration, vision board work and art books. I love cutting and pasting and exploring. This is about creativity and using our right brain to deepen our joy.

What if I'm not creative? What if? Hm, I think you might surprise yourself.

I've never been able to fully participate in long e-courses. What if I can't keep up? I don't keep up with the pace of others either. I do things at my own pace. You'll have all the emails that come to save and use for any time you'd like. Take your time, read the first 5, join in at the end. Whatever works for you. It is your 30 days.

Can I participate without keeping a book? Sure thing. Sometimes just being present to the thoughts and prompts is all you need. This is about you. Not me or them. What feels good to you? You can also create a vision board, a big huge poster of your thoughts and cut outs, a piece of art to hang on the wall. The beauty of creation is all yours.

What will I need? A blank book, I like this one, I love the gray and the kraft color, this one has a pocket to store your little cut outs for later and they come in many different sizes. Scissors, a glue stick and lots of magazines and old cards, quotes, etc will be needed.  A little time and space that you can carve out for you. If you have kids have them be part of this, get them each a book so that if you are short on alone, time you can still do some visioning each day.

I have taken this course before, is it the same? Yes and no. It will follow many of the same prompts. New videos and prompts will be added. What I can say is that every time I go back into my book and do my prompts again, the new layers appear. I am amazed at how quickly I can manifest the feelings and the visions. And of course, each group that comes together provides the magic that a course never can on its own.

Spirits of Joy - 30 Days of Prompts

 $49     Add to Cart

 

What do you do when you arrive at one of your beautiful dreams?

“And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?” ~Rumi

I am

I've arrived at several. My beautiful dreams come at me fast now, making me almost intimidated to do the work I teach; guiding women how to vision these dreams and connect to the magic inside of them.

This is a discussion we are having over in my Magic Making Mastermind Circle and I want to bring it to you. I'll wax a bit on it, but I am most interested in what you do when you arrive at one of your beautiful dreams.

How do your thoughts start to shift and how do you integrate the arrival into the place you may have been visioning for so long?

Once I have stepped into this 'new reality' to quote one of my Mastermind women, I am often quick to move on. Lingering in the celebration of it isn't always my way. There is a depth of the shadow work I have done to arrive at many beautiful dreams and I am one of those people who craves the discomfort that growth and trusting the inner voice brings.

When I was 25 I lost my first pregnancy. Then two more. A baby was my beautiful dream and I walked through shadow after shadow, deep sickness and disconnect in my marriage to finally give birth to my daughter on Sept 15, 2002. For two weeks I was pretty blissed out. Even with the extra 40 pounds I was still holding, the swelling that refused to go away and the struggles with nursing.

At the end of week two she started to cry and didn't stop for about 4 months or so. I was inside of my beautiful dream and it kind of sucked. I was sucked into a deep depression, I felt alone and scared and disconnected from everything I had known.

My beautiful dream, everything I had wanted, to be a mom, to hold my babe. Here she was and my new reality filled me with fear.

It took me a long long time to dream again. Shell shock or high-anxiety or just pure exhaustion. I loved that little being to the core of my soul and I just couldn't imagine how a dream could feel so different. Looking back I know that I wanted to be a mom because I wanted to fill a piece of myself that felt empty, raw, exposed. I believed a baby would fill it.

I wanted to feel whole.

What the baby did was become one of my greatest teachers. All of my children become deep love in my soul but never filled me up. Never made me whole. Thank God I have them, thank God I looked to be filled through them so that they are in our life.

And thank God I saw the truth inside of the dream so that I could begin to dream again. I wanted to feel whole.

From that feeling inside the dream I have visioned my way into so many new realities. Each one lifting me up, each one teaching me that feeling whole is me becoming light. And so I dip into shadows, I come out and shine stronger, brighter.

It is the Awakening that becomes a layered goddess of story and experience and squeezes me in her fiery wild circle, refusing to let me go. "This," she says, "this is where you journey to feel and become whole. This is home."

And I love her. She found me at 19 when I longed to become whole through the love of a man. She found me at 38 when I longed to become whole through the love of my soul. She walks each day with me, visions the next beautiful dream, tells me stories of home.

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As I journey and dream I am learning to celebrate the manifest of the dream, of the feeling. Teaching others how to celebrate the beauty and the joy and the desire in their lives is part of this dream.

Whatever shame I held in celebrating this life I am creating is floating away, popping like the bubbles in my celebratory glass of bubbly. This was a beautiful dream. Shining so I may give permission to others to shine. That is beautiful right?

Now that I understand it is the feeling inside of the dream that guides us, I draw these visions into my life at a pace I must account for. My world has been rocked over and over.

And I am also OK with the not knowing. There are some feelings that I want and have no way of knowing how it will look. Releasing expectation.  Arriving in perfect alignment. Finding ways to be there now.

What do you do when you arrive at one of your beautiful dreams?

Breathe into it. Notice how you feel. Remember how you wanted to feel. Lean into the new reality. Be gentle with yourself. Celebrate the hell out of it. Keep visioning.

That is me. What about you?

(Spirits of Joy, the 30 day course towards creating a vision book where you will dream and dream and dream will come out of hiding for September. And the vision book will rock your whole world.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mini Manifesto

mini manifesto

I've been exhausted lately. The result of going full force since about January. Travelling, getting a Loft and turning it into magic, running course after course, finding more space for social time than I have in years and some deep shadow work are probably why. Probably.

But I prefer to pretend I must have some wacky illness, be like, really sick. Something must be wrong for me to be tired. To take 3 days off from working. To sleep crazy hours. To skip yoga. To want to go back to bed an hour after I wake up. To feel my anxiety slipping in. To be so bloated and irritable.

Yesterday on my third day of needing huge space from computers and phones and the to-do list I made just to coax myself out of my exhaustion, I realized I was just tired. Tired. And maybe the stuffy nose and cough are showing up to slow me down just a bit.

And instead of anything getting crossed off the to-do list I quickly wrote a mini manifesto.

So here I am.

Learning to pace myself to the beat of my heart.

Later I'll probably take a nap and then make a beautiful dinner.

Might even have a grapefruit mimosa.

Sometimes we need to call ourselves back home.

***

After my days of rest I am going back into these days. This process and practice is what grounds me and helps me come back to me, to my home, to my ritual that keeps time. We start June 10th and the group of women joining is making my heart happy.

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The Loft Workshop Series:: Tastes of Spring

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When: Thursday, June 6th  7-10 pm
What: A cooking class led by Persephone Brown
Where: The Loft,  workshop and retreat space for women in Rhode Island, Hope Artiste Village
Cost: $75 (We are currently filled, if you are interested in a space, please email hello@hannahmarcotti.com to be put on the wait list. xo)
 
Please join me in The Loft as I host one of my dearest friends and the most amazing whole foods chef I know, Persephone Brown. We will be sipping wine, learning her techniques and tricks, sitting at the table enjoying the gorgeous food and everyone will be taking home something special they create themselves.
 
One of my dreams has been to have a space that can bring communitiy together over food, using our hands, visioning and tribe building. I am so excited that Persephone is my first guest at The Loft. Will you join me for a night that will make us want to gather and circle more because we leave lifted and filled and glowing?
 
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From Persephone:: A perfect recipe starts with flavor, then color.  A perfect dish grabs hold of all of your senses, you smile at the sight of its beauty, the textures dance on your tongue.  A perfect meal nourishes you beyond healthy nail beds and belly, with story, and laughter, and soft colorful cloth napkins.  A perfect meal is messy, and simple, and lovingly prepared.  The first bite you dance, the last bite you sigh, and every moment in between all that exists is love.

Cooking for my family, I create dishes that are simple, lovingly prepared, beautiful, and delicious.  Whole body nourishment is our platform to living the gorgeous life.  In this unique kitchen experience you will learn to make some of my favorite dishes while we clink glasses, share stories, and feast.

On June 6th, as we slowly start to feel summer's approach, we will be exploring some of the beautiful foods that Spring offers us for just a short time more. You will learn how to make and then gather around the table to enjoy 6 dishes that will dance with your tastebuds and excite you to go home to your kitchen and prepare for a gathering around your table.

I can't wait to meet you and join you at the table.

 Tastes of Spring Menu

red pepper~walnut crudite

avocado stuffed portobella with tomato and arame

roasted spring vegetables with lemon & greek yogurt

citrus marinated scallops

raw banana pie

chocolate almond truffles

 

*All dishes are gluten & grain free.  If this feels like it is right for you but you have an allergy or food restriction, please ask, accommodations may be made.

 

persephone cooking class

I am a firm believer in you are what you eat.  I am a healthy living coach and chef who teaches and inspires women to feed themselves beautiful meals that nourish through their simplicity, color, and flavor.  Food can distort and distract from our experiences or ground and connect us to them.  To find out more about cooking classes, guided cleanses, or to read about my life and experiments in the kitchen, visit www.PersephoneBrown.com

I am beautiful.

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Photo by Vivienne McMaster

4% of women think they are beautiful. What kind of fucked up is that? What kind of world am I raising a gorgeous daughter in?

I cried when I told Patrick about this video as we were lying in the dark. I couldn't talk about it without kind of falling apart. This is one of the reasons I am on this earth. Because I've spent most of my life trying to say those words.

I am beautiful.

I am beautiful.

I am beautiful.

And sometimes I see a picture of myself and I feel ugly. Sometimes I wake up and I see my neck starting to show my age, even though I love the age I am. Sometimes I look at my belly and want to hide it.

But still, I am beautiful.

I am beautiful.

I am beautiful.

When I removed all magazines, tv and other forms of beauty as defined by advertisers my world changed. And while I still don't think Dove is stretching itself to the beauty that is too far out of our American comfort zones, it is a start. And I feel blessed at any sort of start.

Chloe's dad tells her she is beautiful and smart and funny. I tell her that she makes the most amazing outfits and has a style that no other 10 year old has. She never sees commercials or magazine adds (well, she sees magazines, but ones that we cut up for visioning!) or has voices coming from outside of her telling her she is not living up.

At 10 years old I already thought I was fat.

At 16 I convinced myself I should stop eating so I could feel love.

At 18 I went into therapy for the first time.

At 24 I dieted my already tiny body down to a size nothing for my wedding.

At 34 after my third baby was born I dieted down to a size 4/6 and convinced myself it wasn't really dieting, just healthing living.

At 36 I gained 20 pounds.

At 38 I declared the war over.

At 38 I knew it would be the year that my life would change forever.

At 38 I finally saw my beauty. And it surprised me.

At 38 I knew that if I could see my beauty I could guide other women to see theirs.

At 38 I believed it when someone told me I was beautiful.

At 38 I have peace when I see my reflection.

At 38 I stood in the woods and let a gorgeous photographer take pictures of my belly. (More on that soon.)

At 38 I looked in the mirror, 20 pounds over the weight I had kept myself at for years and said...

I am beautiful.

And everything changed.

There is so much work I have to do on my soul and my past and my spirit. There is so much I am learning so I can show up as a guide and writer and friend and partner and mother.

And I love the work. I will do the work. And I will ask you to show up and do your work so that if you are not in that 4%, the 4% that makes me tear up when I think about that preciously tiny number, if you are not in it - good. Because I don't want you in the 4%, I want you in the 100%, the 100% of women who know they are beautiful.

Let's raise it together. Let's show up even when it is hard. Let's show up in our beauty. In this gorgeous life.

***

Here is how I can help guide you right now into this beauty. First as part of community who lift each other up, who hold the belief that as women who are gathering inside of community we see our beauty together. We hold space for our sisters to shine in their light and allow us to shine in ours. Community Grace starts May 1st.

If you really want to rock your world in May, join my sweet friend Vivienne in her course Be Your Own Beloved. I've done it once and will do it again. Looking in your own eyes really is life changing.

Let May be the month you start to let your light shine, your beauty radiate and where you know that there are circles of women who want that for you. They want to make that space for you to step into your gorgeous life. We are only beginning.

 

 

 

 

 

Magic Making Mastermind Circle

Fierce fierce magic

I woke up at 4am with a jolt.

I saw a circle of women. We were change and love and fierce because we were creating together.

In this circle all of the magic that was happening would ebb and flow through a space that held beauty and faith and change. That held light.

My life in that one moment changed and I find myself sitting here now, in this space of beauty, faith and change.

I was stepping into such deep truth in my life and this was the answer that came from the surrender into faith.

The fierce, fierce magic has begun and I am assembling this circle that I visioned; that changed where I sit, how I plan, what is next.

Arm circle for manifest

 When I get a vision, a life changing vision I don't go slowly.

I launched an event that would circle women together inside of this magic before I had the keys to the space.

With my eyes closed I said a little (huge) prayer and then asked for faith.

Please God, please someone, tell me I'm not fucking up. (New Englanders do use the F word in prayer, it is kind of like and and the for us.)

And the voices that came back echoed over and over... trust yourself, trust yourself.

magic sign from Oregon

And the signs appeared as if out of bubbles of trust.

Disco balls, texts with yes, Buddha heads, smiling eyes, women radiating me to open and trust.

In a deeply personal retreat circling with soul-sisters my own words found hanging on a wall that I might have forgotten I wrote.

Fierce, fierce magic.

This is why I am here. To circle us together and show each of you your magic.

This is why circling with women is my heart's joy song.

When we have permission to see, feel and create our magic these dreams do start falling and we pay it forward and it ripples.

Yes, ripples.

 vision table

Sitting together in virtual space and real space.

Magic making into the deepest level of care and love for who we are and what we bring to this world.

Visioning through words, images, time together.

Creating joy bubbles that flow out to those we love and support and guide.

Getting shit done.

Finding feathers where there never was a bird because we have such deep belief and faith.

Learning to receive in our circling. Allowing others to receive from us.

Circling. Magic making. The 4am wake up. And so it is.

magic making mastermind

  • May, June, July, August we circle in our magic making mastermind
  • 2 magic making sessions (worth $600)
  • A monthly group call where we come together and talk it out, ask for clarity, support, ideas, love and we make space for our magic
  • Monthly recordings with women I love who are living beautiful, successful lives (announced sooooon!)
  • All calls will be recorded
  • A private virtual group to connect daily
  • Free enrollment into any Joy Up or Making Space programs I run through these months
  • Invitation to a private live #operationselfcarelikewhoa event in August at The Loft (the very magical space) in Providence, Rhode Island
  • A print of Fierce, fierce magic (stars falling) from the gorgeous Cassia

heart on wall

The magic making mastermind circle is for women who are dreaming of aligning the vision for their lives with the reality of those same lives.

Women who want to use their voices through writing and connecting and creating to make magic in their lives or businesses.

Women who are trying to do it all while learning to integrate living in a highly sensitive body, women who are ready to start, to begin anew, to be seen.

  • Only 20 spaces in this circle, it will be intimate and intense and full of freedom 1 spot left, please email me at hello@hannahmarcotti.com to register
  • Freedom is the place where you create, where your life becomes your dream
  • 4am jolts of inspiration strongly encouraged in this circle
  • You will step into this group and deep change will happen for you, be ready

the loft stairs

  • $200.00 a month for May, June, July and August
  • An invitation to an optional private live August event at The Loft in Rhode Island (those are the stairs in the picture above)
  • Limited spaces, please email me at hello@hannahmarcotti.com with questions so we can get your spot reserved!!!!
  • 2 individual sessions will be scheduled where we will kick up the magic
  • Group calls each month full of yeses and support and inspiration
  • Recordings with kick-ass women who will inspire you to no end and who are magic
  • Enrollment into any Joy Up or Making Space program held during these months
  • Fierce, fierce magic

Will you show up?

“There are women who make things better... simply by showing up. There are women who make things happen. There are women who make their way. There are women who make a difference. And women who make us smile. There are women of wit and wisdom who- through strength and courage- make it through. There are women who change the world everyday... Women like you.” ~ Ashley Rice

Currently full and waitlisted for the May-August Circle. We will do it again!

Crazy love that was sprinkled on me recently from my magical tribe::

"She has a magical balance of ferocity and gentleness that speak directly to your heart while not leaving your mind out of the equation. Oh, and she rocks."

"What you do is take women who don't even know how to believe in what they already are, don't know that they should, and you give them hope, give them the tools, introduce them to a way of looking at themselves, the world, each other - that illuminates ILLUMINATES the path that we failed to notice was beneath our feet all along."

"Hannah walks her talk, follows the path so that it is illuminated for the souls she guides. She has her finger on the pulse of the universe, and embodies the sacred feminine."

"Hannah is honest, real, a storyteller, authentic, magical, passionate, gentle and tough all at the same time..."

"Hannah has a gentle way of shaking up every fibre of your being by opening your eyes to who you truly are and how you can bring yourself forward into the life (and spirit) that has always felt just out of reach. She takes your hand and guides you home, to the best possible version of your true self. Once she has touched your life, you will never be the same and you will thank the Universe every day for guiding you to her. xo"

""Hannah is a gentle guide for women, aiding them in allowing the space to see their true calling through visioning and surrender work. Her prompts are transformational, helping women unlock their own unique inner-beauty, and step into the vulnerability of owning it and sharing it."

"You are an earth goddess creating magic, aligning us all to the powers of the universe."

And I have such fierce love for every single one of those voices.

 

Some small time ago.

I couldn't walk the dog. Or walk to pick up the kids from school. Or lean down and pick up Lucas when he needed me.

Just going to the beach was a little scary, what if I hurt or couldn't move with the kids.

I gained about 15 pounds.

Atleast 2 weeks out of every month were spent in enormous amounts of pain.

My body was lonely.

I was scared. Having panic attacks sometimes twice a day.

I couldn't have lemon or caffeine or most nightshades.

I knew something deep inside of me was fighting. I was so tired of the struggle.

Making Space for Surrender is the program that came to life because I was easing into my own Surrender. One that over time would turn into a manifestation of healing. Of change. Of choice. 

Yesterday I drank a green tea. I was fine. Joyful.

I can pick up my four year old sleeping, carry him up the stairs and into the house in my heels.

Walking to school and playing in the park, yes. Check.

Long, gorgeous beach walks are planned from now until forever.

The weight is slowly melting off as I experience the sexy exorcism of Forrest yoga each week and try to dance and move.

I drink lots of water now, no fear that it will hurt.

A glass of wine no longer sends me to bed for two days.

The surrender didn't take the pain away. The surrender allowed me to close my eyes and feel the acceptance and love for my body regardless of the pain. Or because of the pain. Or both. To just be. Be there.

And then I could change. I could find my beautiful path to healing.

Now I am surrendering to a new fight. That is how we evolve. Like waves crashing through the fog onto the rock cliffs. And that moment of stillness when you are flooded with calm and light and every spirit guide you'll need to walk with you on your journey.

I will add my guidance.

Today is the final day for the Early Bird sign up rate.

The Surrender, scary-gorgeous.

I'm not ready.

Hannah Dance from Hannah Marcotti on Vimeo.

 

I'm not ready to stop.

I know.

I'm not ready to forigive my choices.

I know.

I'm not ready to allow ease, I need to fight.

I know.

I'm not ready to take off my socks and walk in the wet grass.

I know.

I'm not ready to cry. To be seen. To be held.

I know.

I'm not ready to find my flow which I know will bring change in such rapid motions that for moments I won't be able to breathe.

I know.

I'm not ready to ditch crisis, I like it here.

I know.

I'm not ready for this.

I know.

I'm not ready to surrender.

I know. And I love this for you. Surrender happens when we aren't ready. Change comes when we most fear it. Love surrounds us when we declare we can't so that we may be supported in the doing.

I know you aren't. That is why I am so happy you are here.

I'm going to fly with you. I've been leaving feathers for you to find for so long now.

Today, tomorrow and the next day all I want you to do is know that you will find one on your path. I will be there, gently whispering you forward toward your light, feather in hand.

I know. I truly know. And so do you.

Let's make space for Surrender together.

We start February 11th for prep week.

On love. On enough. On visions. On gentle power.

When I first started doing vision work about 4 years ago I was scared.

I was scared of wanting, of asking, of what I didn't realize (then) was putting myself into a deeply vulnerable state of visioning my life into its most joyful and passionate place.

I was scared to evolve.

I was afraid to look at choices I had made because did that mean I had really f***ed up. At that point I was 34, I had a new baby, my last. I didn't want to look at what I might so deeply need to be different.

So I stuck my toes in the water and I dipped into visioning in what I thought was the most gentle of ways.

I placed my visions on a wall where I could see them and it was a silent prayer each day I looked towards it.

Ever since that day my world has been in a spiral of change, of choice, of manifesting, of learning who I am.

Learning who I am:: Not who I thought I should be. Cracking. Open.

Yes. It is scary. Yes. Things will change. Yes. You get to decide. Yes. You have to release the details. Yes. What shows up will be more magical than you ever imagined. Yes. It will be hard. Yes. There will be tears and laughter. Yes. You will cross through these visions knowing you are love and hold everything inside of you, that makes you enough.

You will feel the gentle power that was born inside of you when you realize that how you want to feel and who you are and what you dream of changes everything.

***

I'll be coming out of my cave to travel across the country and teach! January 5th. Berkeley, CA.

Join us for one of Teahouse Studio's final workshops, Vision Books and Stories of the Spirit. And while you are there Tiffany and I made a little video explaining more of what this workshop is all about. (Please forgive how dark I am, making a video at 5:30pm on the East Coast means no light!)

Cracked.

The beautiful words you write I long to read. I am buried in my own thoughts, too deep to go there, to let them in.

The emails that flow in I want to dive into to let myself loose in another place and yet I can't click them open.

I go to turn left on red.

This isn't how I thought cracking open would feel. Scary, real, raw, passion, intense, power, shifting, open...

The release work on my muscles has opened something up far greater than tension release. It holds up what I don't want. It lets me close my eyes. It is the exhale I have been searching for but so scared of the breath.

I don't want discontent. I don't want loneliness. I don't want hiding. I don't want drugs. I don't want pain. I don't want heartbreak. I don't want what?

I start there so the path to my dreams may become more clear. From the not wanting into desire...desire...desire.

At 38, a women growing into herself, marking time on her body, feeling her way towards the light.

The light. Stars. Twinkle. Shine. There is more. I stretch to find it. Please let it be gentle.

The pain that pulses each time muscles are triggered to release is the pain that is triggered somewhere in the chaos of change. I should sleep after and I don't because words won't stop fighting their way out. I go from fear of nothing to an uncontrollable tangle of thoughts, feelings. Feelings.

More connection. I need to see you and share space with you. I want to share a circle and show you how to crack in the most gentle, loving way I know. My calling is to guide you towards your light and the only way is for me to crack first. The only way is the crack, of being blinded for the shortest of moments by the light.

And when the time comes to open our eyes after the bravery of staring into the sun, we will be open.

Because we cracked.

And we'll crack again.

Because this life is beautiful.

***

A gathering. A circle. A cracking. Through vision work. Spaces are still available. This is one of the final workshops at the legendary Teahouse Studio. Come circle with us...

***

Here are some past posts about my journey healing my pelvic floor. We are never alone. Never alone.

Anxiety and Breathe.

On the equinox.

Prayer. Feet. And the beauty.

As our body cries out.

The pain of the present.

Making space for blessings, wishes...

December 1st we start to dance in the magic of the holiday and spend time with magic, blessings, ritual, letters from the heart, soulwork, reindeer (or bird) magical food, handmade stars, the beautiful smells of pie and more sprinklings of joy.

Join me along with members of the joy tribe on Thursday, November 29th at 8:30 pm Eastern Time as we kick off the Holiday Joy Up with words, meditation, stories of past joy ups and the inspiration for stepping into the Holiday with softness.

I've had a little thought playing in my head of joining some of the voices of the joy tribe together in this way and when I asked them, there was a resounding yes. Grab your eggnog and candy canes and meet us virtually from your cozy house in your jammies as we ring in the joy.

Yes, there will be magic.

 

Holiday bounty and my sweet friends.

With The Holiday Joy Up launched out into the world I am always humbled as the women start to gather together and form a community, a tribe, weeks before we even begin. Not everyone chooses to go through their days in group support, for some it is a chance to be quiet with their own thoughts and goals and dreams. I do love Soulwork in tribe though, there is something about going through an experience together that feels like magic.

We will be dancing in the magic together.

The Holiday Joy Up started as 10 days, as did all the Joy Ups (this was the video that started them all)! When it felt time to change things up the days were extended and now all of my programs are getting little make-overs to extend them so we have more time together and can travel together at a relaxed pace.

One woman said to me that at the end of December she will have had an email from me almost every morning for 3 months! I love this, showing up each morning with you and being part of the process of joy, change, heart-based purpose and learning more about who you are is my gorgeous life's work. I am truly grateful.

Please know that each joy up there are scholarships available if money is an issue for you in this moment. Women from past joy tribes who have gifted spots waiting for someone to fill them, if that is you, send an email to hello@hannahmarcotti.com to be matched up with a sponsor. One of the most magical parts is that often it is the women who started a joy up journey on scholarship are now gifting spots. The Joy Ups are that powerful, bringing us into places of abundance as we work through the tough stuff that brings us into our light.

My sweet friends are spreading their own magic.

I want to share with you some of the other Holiday offerings that some of my dearest friends have planned. I know that something on this list may resonate for you and be just what you were looking for in your own heart or for someone you love. I feel abundantly blessed to share their heart-based work with you. If you don't know these women you are in for a treat, pure delicious treat.

(Please note I am not an affiliate, just a loving friend to these women.)

Water your soul. ~ Liz Lamoreux

Wisdom Notes. ~ Rachel Cole

Santa Pause. ~ Kristin Noelle

30 Day Social Media Rehab. ~ Tiffany Han

Breathe Peace. ~ Jenn Gibson

New Mama Recharge. (In January) ~ Michelle Pfennighaus

In Community Grace we are doing some work around finding our feeling mantra. Mine is to feel inspired to create magic. Whether it is with my communities, the connections I make with clients, in my cozy family, with my book coach, long talks with my mastermind group, moments of clarity and joy from those I am deeply connected to, making space in my home and heart or simply as I sit down to write; I feel inspired to create magic.

Attaching my intentions with that feeling is what moves me forward, helps me dig deep into my own personal magic. I'll be sharing some stories from the Community Grace group as I know you will be as moved as I am by their personal grace.

The Holiday Joy Up 2012

Join us for Holiday Joy Up 2013 over here!!!!

When you dance in the magic something opens up inside and the desire for more joy, dreams and passion becomes the mission of the heart.

December 1st to the 22nd

As we approach the Holidays it is easy to lose focus on joy, we want magic and sparkly nights, not stress and fights! Pressures arise and we are faced with decisions to make and food indulgences on every table.

These 22 days are about connecting to daily gratitude, creating everyday magic, feeling filled with connection (rather than sugar), truthfulness, radiating love and that twinkle of inspiration for creating a season of joy.

Gratitude + Love + Magic = Holiday Joy

 22 days of holiday letters holding inside of them:

  • Inspiration towards making more daily magical moments
  • Reminders of what truly matters to us through holiday joy affirmations
  • Gratitude makers - think noise makers full of gratitude - through soulwork assignments
  • Recipes that make your taste buds joyful and your body gorgeous
  • Daily sparkles, tingles, twinkles, fluttering...magic of the season

Reminders to dance in the magic of the season:

  • Support from your joy tribe
  • Inspirations for sharing the love of the season
  • Twinkles of gratitude
  • Joyful giving and receiving
  • Gorgeous holiday living

Shifting into joy for the present moments:

  • Feeling love for who we are now, yes, now
  • Simple ways of showing love through the sharing and receiving of gifts and gestures
  • Mindfulness and joy that come from the simple, ordinary tasks of our life
  • Transforming the everyday into joyful holiday magic through Soulwork
  • Fully being inside of the joy of the season

 

Magical guests contributing their sparkle and gratitude:

Recipes to connect you deeper to your health:

  • Grain-free and mostly dairy free, like me!

Here is how we move into the magic:

  • A letter each morning delivered to your email, like a daily gift of gratitude
  • 22 days of inspiration
  • A Facebook Joy Tribe Group to chat in, share inspiration, pictures and the magic of the season
  • Watch your holiday joy start to sparkle as you dance in the magic
  •  I celebrate Christmas but this is for celebrating the season, not a specific holiday
  • Share the magic we will be dancing in, sign up with a soulsister
  • $22.00 for 22 days
  • Or join and gift to a soulsister for $38.00
  • December 1st to the 22nd

I always smell joy and the excitement in the air, see it in the lights that start to sparkle and taste it in the homemade applesauce simmering away on the stove. This time together is about focusing on those special moments and making memories. Taking the stress and pressures and flipping them into gratitude, love and joy! Let's discover the magic of the twinkle together.

Here is my love note to you:

  • I believe you are amazing
  • I believe in you connecting to the special
  • I believe in the magic of all you are
  • I believe in you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"To feel that connection that exists between all of us, everywhere, is so refreshing and joyful." - Emily

"This time has been wonderful. I met Joy like an old friend coming back into my life. I am really enjoying the visit and hope that she stays." - Laura

"This has been the most precious of days ♥ !" - Stacy

"Thank you for these days, they will ripple into many more days to come." - Jenn

"Focusing on joy has allowed me to encourage and old friend and totally change the way I think about situations. I'm usually negative but these past days I have learned to speak the truth in my head out loud instead of letting the negative situations take over. It has been really amazing." - Rachel

The way I see community.

Four years ago I was a stay at home mama, pregnant with my third baby, wondering what more there was for me. I felt lost. I knew that I had something special to give this world. I had tried so many careers and I couldn't make anything stick. What I felt deep down was that I wanted something that was mine, that I could control, design, create, develop.

I wanted to tap into my gifts, my light.

Four years later I have a business that is flowing in abundance, beauty and grace. I also have a new budding business with a most amazing woman and a circle of women who believe in each other. I haven't been 'lucky' (though I'll take any luck that wants to flow my way). I've been working hard, doing the beautiful work; creating connection, building community and trying to show up with a combination of truth and grace.

Somewhere along the line I fell in love with the joy of building community around my work. Partly it came intuitively for me and the rest I had to learn. I combined reading, studying and a whole lot of playing around to see what worked and what didn't work.

Our community is not me talking/writing and you just listening. It is also me listening and hearing you back. It is the flow of our energy and the sharing of our gifts together. I set the table and you bring the wine. Community is shared purpose, goals and explorations. The communities I am part of are warm and cozy, sunshine through the windows warming us when we need it most, lifting and truth telling. Lots of truth telling.

Community Grace is a way to play with community building and creating connections to bring energy behind your words and offerings. Gathering those around you that you want to talk and share with and those that you learn from and could listen to for hours as they share their stories or guidance with you.

What I know is that our words are powerful, our story is where we connect. We make choices in how to use our words to connect, to grow, to show up. There is no formula and once you realize that you can fully step into your light and start to use your words to gather energy around you and your work.

Your community is forming, they are a vibrant gorgeous community, ready to spread out the picnic blanket, uncork the wine, serve the food while the music is played and come together inside of your own special magic.

What will you bring? How will you share? What passion do you bring to this community table? How do you show up as you, in your truth and flowing with your passions?

Gathering is ceremony, celebration. Knowing your own special gift, voice and compassion and setting them free sets you free.

We all have a story to be told. We have a community to gather with. We have joy unfolding before us, compassion spilling.

And so we continue. We build. We play.

***

Learn more about Community Grace, my group program for November.

September Space

Patrick, my husband, and I have the same birthday.

When he told me that 19 years ago I thought he was kidding. His flirtations started with me just a few days after I turned 19. Here was this big guy who had a big crush on me and I thought, "Oh, cute pick up line!" Well, he really does. And we really do, September 20th. We would go on to have Chloe on September 15th and then Lucas on September 9th. Huge birthday month for us. (Eli gets June all to himself!)

What I most wanted for my birthday was space. I've been making a whole lot of space in my life for my own heart, home and mind and I want to share it with you.

In September, in honor of space, start the 10 day cleanse any time you are ready, get a big discount AND give away a spot in the cleanse for FREE! What? Totally, karma, birthday month, give something away and feel the joy that is returned to you.

This is the cleanse that has very little to do with food (but you get two new recipes a day) and is not about restriction. It is about expanding space. It is magical. I know because I have lived it. This cleanse grew from the work I was doing in my own life, clearing the clutter from my home which opened up the space inside my heart and mind to truly access my essence.

Click here for more information...

These are the 10 days that allow you to be still and take action in beautiful harmony. It is the cleanse that women write to me after and say, "Yeah, I thought I was just clearing out clutter and being present, I had no idea I was actually reconnecting to myself each time I let more go."

Magic. 10 days. Will you?

Catching Prayers

I had a couple of tough days, focused on the negatives that were showing up in the tiniest of ways while the positive joy was like a light show around me. All I could feel was the weight of the tiny, because that is where my focus was.

I sent out a prayer for calm, for love, for presence.

In that prayer I pulled all of those things into my reality, I shifted. I stepped back into the flow, I sat down and enjoyed the light show.

And while that sounds beautiful, it is hard as hell to do sometimes. That is why we journey. We practice.

We show up for each other, to catch our prayers in love and blow them out as blessings into the wind together.

***

A few requests to join the journey each day, so I've kept the registration open for a bit. If you sign up now, you'll have links to each of the previous days letters in your morning letter. Take your time, go at your own pace, dig into the soulwork.

What will you choose?

Joy is a sparkle inside. It tickles, it tingles, it plays. It is like the breeze blowing through your hair, and the sun shining down on you. It is dancing or a calm breath.

Joy can live inside of you, at all times. It is your option. Joy draws others to you, they are attracted to your sparkle. Joy does not mean you do not feel sadness or fear or pain or disappointment. Joy means that you feel extra, joy cushions you through the tough times.
It's time. For whatever you want. How are you going to get there?

By choosing joy.

The Universe is responding, but it takes doing the work and feeling the stuff and moving into the joy. I want you to set an intention. Saying I want more joy is beautiful, but we need to be specific.

We need to tell the Universe we know exactly what we are going for.

***

First email went out this morning, you can continue to sign up throughout the week and then we will be closing up the sign ups. All previous emails will be archived and available to you.

The tribe gathered is beyond my wildest expectations of women to have the honor of guiding.

What will you choose?

 

Behind the Scenes of Not Knowing

Munching cookies and strawberries the other night with this beauty I found myself talking about the importance of not knowing. Not knowing that kale is not just a garnish on the side of a plate, you can eat it. Not knowing how to re-size a picture or publish a post.

Not knowing how to use your voice, stuck.

Not knowing how to take your dreams and turn them into a business. That jittery, exciting time full of fear and magical potential.

And remembering all the things that once we didn't know.

The women of The Joy Up Tribe Alumni Group are making my heart soar right now. They are offering to sponsor other women in the tribe who don't have $45 to join the program. I'll tell you more about this as I tell you about not knowing and then knowing, really knowing.

A year ago the joy up was born. It was an idea that over a few months went from simply a name into a program that would bring over 200 women together. While it wasn't for everyone, it was available to any woman. I was positioning my business to go from Health Coaching into Holistic Life and Business Coaching and I wanted to grow my tribe.

Big dreams are great, but if you don't take the actions to support them, you still only have dreams.

I found it really hard to tag a price on a program about joy. The fears too, maybe no one will resonate with it, maybe this is a silly idea.

In my heart, I knew that not knowing was where I needed to be. Just like learning to move kale from garnish to salad, a world was opening up to me. A large community of women, taking my programs from 30 or so into the hundreds. I was ready to do the work.

The Joy Up started as 10 days, pay-what-you-can. A core group of women formed around the soulwork and my life hit crazy. I had no idea what holding the energy of that many women would be like. I was not prepared for emails telling me that their lives had changed because of 10 days. I knew I could explain joy and why we must choose it, even in the face of sadness or lack, but I had no idea.

I couldn't eat. I cried a lot. (I did this in quiet mostly because while you can share this a year later once you've learned to hold that kind of energy, you can't talk about it while you are in it.)

We think that those little tastes of growth and success will taste sweet, but usually they are more like unsweetened dark chocolate. You know somewhere inside of it all you like the taste, but don't know how to get to it. My husband and I had the 'opportunity' in all of the emotion to work on our stuff.

Each time The Joy Up program ran after that, I followed my intuition. I kept it pay-what-feels-good, built my tribe even more and the emails from the tribe became more intense. From making decisions to leave abusive marriages to pursuing a new career. All on the basis of 'Joy is a Choice.'

Letters would come in the mail with feathers falling out of them, I have now had about 6 or 7 of these. These women who knew how much I loved feathers were forming a community based on joy and love and support.

During one of the program runs I received $100 from a woman in the tribe. I sent her an email that told her she took my breath away, and asked if she meant to send that? She replied, "Now you know how I feel each morning with your Joy Up emails."

A sweet online friend sent $200 as her contribution to the program and my work. Knowing.

The year of building this community was beyond amazing. The first Joy Up was shared over 600 times on social media. It was humbling and intense.

The Joy Up continues after the (now) 30 days. A private community on FB allows women to stay connected and I pop in and out as I need to. A true community inside of a somewhat crazy online world.

After a year I wasn't sure what to do with this program. Do I turn it into an ebook, offer something new and different, keep going? Could I keep creating new material or do I re-purpose? I let my intuition play around and talking with husband he said, "I just don't think it is over yet."

While I agreed I knew that I would need to allow it to evolve.

I needed to finally price it, close the tribe a bit in numbers while increasing its value, and still allow women who wanted access a way to do so regardless of their financial situation. There have been times in my life when $45 meant feeding my family or buying gas. I also really wanted women to value this work they were doing and invest in themselves. The Joy Up is about changing your life, sparkling with the butterflies and stepping into abundance.

We have watched women who started the program go from broke to abundant. Who are now sponsoring other women to join.

The program this time is priced with an option to join with a soul-sister. Many women are inviting their best friends or sisters to journey with them.

I wrote a little note on the tribe's alumni page. There are scholarships available if you are not able to afford the program but wish to continue on the journey with us.

From then on women in the tribe have been asking me about sponsoring a soul-sister on the journey. The outpouring has been incredible. We have had about 10 women sponsored and more sponsors waiting to help.

There is all sorts of magic inside the not knowing if we trust enough to allow ourselves to know.

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We start August 1st. Join us.