(I wanted to share week one of the reset so you could see what it is all about! Just finding the reset, you can join here if you like!)
I was watching the movie Life Itself, because apparently I needed to cry, and in one of the fantasy narrator scenes the little girl says, "I want to live a great big fantastical life."
I grabbed my phone and sent myself a text.
I want to live a great big fantastical life.
I want to be someone who lives a great big fantastical life.
Zero idea what that means, but it feels soul-yummy when I say it.
The last few years I've had a story that I want everything smaller. Smaller business. Smaller visibility online. Smaller.
Somehow in that story of smaller I started to feel unhinged, uncertain and well, you probably can guess this, small.
I wanted to shrink and become unseen. It wasn't until I noticed my discomfort in the smallness that I could feel my Wildthing stirring around inside, wondering where she fit in, who was watching out for her in all the smallness.
The reset idea started with a woman in my circles talking about how she decided to take a picture of herself in the same place every day so she could show herself that from one day to the next, nothing had really changed about her actually body, it was the way she felt about herself.
I wanted to be someone who looked in the mirror and felt amazing about herself. So for a week I decided to play with this. In full on Spiritstyle. Also, I wanted to see how I could show up for myself more.
Reset = Show up for me.
Then I decided to piggyback another ritual on it, which was to do the dishes at night.
Now here is where we can talk about two important parts of this reset.
The first is why?
Like a bigger why than, because I want to have a clean kitchen. Why do you want to be a person who does dishes at night? What do you perceive a person who does dishes at night is? What is it about them that pulls you in?
The second thing is, how will you step into this challenge?
How many obstacles are in your way? Why might this be a walk into sabotage? James Clear talks about the first two minutes of any habit being the most important part. If we are set up for those two minutes to happen, the rest just becomes.
When I wanted to be someone who washed dishes at night, I wanted to be someone who went to bed in peace. There was a calm that infused my home when the kitchen was clean and the counters were ready for the morning.
When I wanted to be someone who looked in the mirror and felt amazing each day, I wanted to be someone who had a daily practice of tending herself. I work from home and can stay small and unseen and undressed or I can take time each day to plan an outfit that is moving me towards amazing.
The resets weren't about creating a ritual for life, they were about challenging a thought I believed about myself, a lack or limitation and challenging it for six days, then taking the seventh day to integrate.
After six days of reading daily, I started reading more.
After six days of washing the dishes at night, I got really twitchy if I went to bed with a sink full of dirty.
After six days of questioning my thoughts with a new question each day, I started to naturally flow into question rather than attack.
After six days of drinking more water, I could feel when I wasn't.
After six days of saying yes to green, I was wearing green and eating green and noticing green all around me.
Knowing something is only a few days long eased my anxiety around failing. This wasn't about success at anything, this was about trying something on so I could feel like someone who _______, then decide if I liked it.
I like to think about the day following the light. In our little hibernating New England Winter it goes a little like this.
Early morning dark
I take each of those times and think about being someone who __________. I won't be the same someone in the early morning dark as I will during magic hour. Each part of the day affords an opportunity to reset, to whisper, Reset Wildthing, Reset. We can infuse these different parts of the day with challenges, rituals, we can try on our becoming through the presence of doing something now.
We can become someone who lives a great big fantastical life, even if we aren't sure yet what that is.
PS. No rules to this reset. Just play. Piggy back other things into your six days. Do something different. Ask yourself what you are longing for and look at how you could set yourself up for a reset in those things. Or, just follow along, one small challenge each week.
A Great Big Fantastical Life
I have a gazillion ideas and prompts for playing in the reset. I found myself trying to take out my favorite ones because of the voices in my head telling me that certain people wouldn't like that or that I couldn't do this or that because blah blah blah.
Small. The smallness will envelope you and this reset is all about living a great big fantastical life.
In this great big fantastical life, we aren't trying to find it, we are going to just live in it. We are going to become someone who lives a great big fantastical life.
The reset isn't about searching for anything, it isn't about being tortured and angsty, it isn't about shadows (because we've got enough of that work going on), it isn't about getting from point A to B.
The reset is about living in the now, the moment of, the act of, the trying on, the playfulness and joy of presence.
I was reading an article the other day as I was working on the Reset and it was about tidy people. In it she mentions that people who live in a tidy space don't save it all up until it is a huge mess, they are constantly looking for little resets here and there so there is never a huge mess to clean up. They are maintaining tidiness.
That is what this reset feels like to me each time I step into it.
I am living a great big fantastical life. Each little reset keeps me there, it keeps me from having to dig my way out of smallness over and over again.
Ok, I think that's enough set up for these six weeks. Ready? Let's play. And thank you for being here.
One More Layer
Let's talk about Spiritstyle.
Since I was young, I have lived inside of the idea that the outside directly impacts and transforms who we are on the inside. And the inside is our guide for how we layer on our clothes as the way of being in the world.
Being seen. Being true. Being our most amazing version of ourselves.
The parts of who we are communicated on the outside.
After the dishes are done, rings on fingers.
After the leggings and sweater, boots, worn, loved. Leg warmers bunched.
A color story that washes over us and matches our now.
Spiritstyle. Matching the parts of ourselves with how we show up each day.
The feeling and witness of who we are.
And it changes. All the time. Each day we can be new.
For this first six day cycle of the reset, I'd love to invite you to think about one more layer.
One more layer to your outfit. A braid in your hair, red lipstick, a couple of bracelets, fingerless gloves, earrings, scarves, vests, suspenders, hats, blazers, nail colors.
This is about becoming more you. The you that lives a great big fantastical life. The you who is someone who is seen.
In the photo above I started with my footless tights and a strapless white dress.
I added some long boot socks, a gray cropped shirt that I tied at the waist and my fingerless gloves.
I kept going. I added my favorite necklace and earrings and a stretchy brown belt to define my waist.
Later I put on a jean jacket and those cute brown shoes.
I kept adding one more layer until I felt like someone who is seen.
Now, I was going to Ikea this day with my girlfriend. I was not dressing for Ikea, I was dressing for me, for the woman who lives a great big fantastical life.
Each day of this reset can look different. The way in is to create the beginning.
I have one of those old accordion wooden hooks hanging in my office which is typically where I leave the house from. On it I hung a couple of necklaces, scarves, a jean jacket and two blazers, a hat, and a few other things that I wanted to invite into my reset. I found a couple things I hadn't felt brave enough to try on yet, and added those.
On my desk I made a little spot for a couple of earrings and bracelets and in the downstairs bathroom I put a little pouch with some lipstick in it.
I get dressed each day upstairs. I throw on a little bit of make up and I usually have on my standard uniform of leggings, long tight shirt and maybe a sweater or skirt.
But I spend my time in my office. I am mostly downstairs. I may not go back up once I come down.
So I set myself up to be able to add on one more layer in a place I'm going to be. Years ago I started taking off my jewelry at night and putting it directly into my purse because I would leave the house so early I knew I would never get that jewelry back on. So I brought it to where I would be later.
The setting up is how we live in the reset. The reset is how we live as who we want to be.
I want to be someone who is seen. So I spend an hour going through all of my accessories and my closet and I pull out choices. I then put those choices in a place I will be, not stuffed in a drawer or lost in a closet. I have curated options for my great big fantastical life.
Then each day I can live in the Reset Wildthing, Reset. I already am actively engaged in what I've chosen. From those layers my past self chose, I can live in the beauty of someone who is seen.
Someone who is seen lives a different day than someone who is small.
They live in a great big fantastical life.
They feel their beautiful Wildthing soul.
With the sunset I took off layers and added a soft cardigan for curling up on the couch with. We can flow with the light and the dark. Begin as one someone who... and land as another.
This week using the #resetwildthingreset tag I'll be sharing my layers with you. If you feel like being seen and sharing photos on Instagram you can use the hashtag or click on it and view others who are sharing inside of their reset.
I will send the emails on Friday evenings, allowing for Saturdays to be a combination of integration to feel how the past 6 days were and to prep for the following 6 days.
So, Saturday ask yourself if you could carve out some time to play in your stuff! What do you have? Where do you keep things?
Make a little pile of layers and then figure out a wonderful place to keep them so that you see them and have easy access to them. You might just fill a little basket with layers and put it next to your full length mirror. (Don't have a full length mirror? You are too gorgeous to not see yourself. Consider it.)
Then Sunday, simply be someone who adds one more layer.
Next level. For those of you who feel like you are already the layering queens, ask yourself where you are playing it safe and keeping small in your own way. A color you haven't tried. A scarf in your hair rather than around your neck. Small braids in your smooth hair. Reset Wildthing, Reset.