Who creates the bad stuff?

A question came to me from a beautiful woman-mama-light up the world kind of woman.

She is triggered by manifesting because if the thought is that we are creating our reality, then this assumes that everything bad or good is being manifested by us all the time too.

I really had to sit with this. Because yes, if you are fully sinking into the belief that our thoughts are in constant co-creation with the Universe, then how can we not feel responsible for the shit that comes our way.

And why does it seem so easy to pull in the bad, rather than call in the income we want or the pregnancy or the man of our dreams?

I used to joke that I was the most brilliant manifestor of drama and negativity.

Teaching and being a student of magic, teaching and being a student of thoughts and feelings, has given me access to more hours of thinking about manifesting than I could log.

Here is what I believe, and what I teach.

Everything that comes to us is our opportunity, a possibility.

I don't look at things as bad or good. Think about money. It is energy. And that energy can be felt by one person as amazing and abundant and felt by another as scary and as lack.

One person may be healing a money story that started with their parents. And their work is all around understanding what part of their belief inside of money was planted in them at a young age. Their 'lack' is an opportunity, a possibility. 

I was that person. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I learned forgiveness. I learned how to start a business. I learned how to stop spending without thinking. 

I also had some knees to the floor sobbing conversations with God. I had less than $20 in the bank and 3 kids. 

Was I drawing in poverty for myself and my kids because of my thoughts?


What I was calling in were the things I needed to heal before I could ever get right with money. 

I was desiring freedom. I was desiring the deep knowing that I could follow that call toward freedom for myself and my kids.

The way those things showed up for me weren't winning the lottery or getting some inheritance.

It was my dog breaking my computer, my then husband breaking my heart, my bank account drained, my knees falling to the floor in surrender.

And then I started the healing, the forgiveness.

It was all part of my journey to freedom.


Dave, my lover, travels a lot. Like a crazy lot on airplanes.

Each time he goes I can feel it in my body that he is getting further and further away from me.

I worry about something happening to the plane. Then I freak out that thinking about that could actually make something happen to the plane. Because I have anxiety.

When those fears come up and I start to loop into the panic, that is where my opportunity, my possibility rises.

It is a chance for me to sit with deep anxiety and sit still with my heart.

Those moments are when I realize how incredibly blessed I am to have fallen in love with this man. Those fears are my love addiction which still likes to show up and challenge me to move through them. 

Am I somehow sending out a message to the Universe to make something happen to his plane?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I am opening up opportunity, a possibility for a new way to feel. To show myself I can move through the anxiety, better than the last time.

When 'bad' shit happens, it sucks. It breaks our hearts. It is the knees to the floor surrendering to God that changes us. That leads us to where we are going.

When you are raising kids you don't tell them they are bad or good. You use each moment as an opportunity for them to understand their actions and the consequences and help them navigate their feelings around it.

You are helping them to see the possibilities of who they can become. And who they were. And are now.

I don't want to talk to Dave about what will happen to my life if something 'bad' ever happened to him because that scares the shit out of me to pull into my thoughts. I know people who don't get life insurance because they are afraid it will mean something will happen to them.

We can make ourselves crazy trying to avoid certain 'bad' thoughts.

Then we get stuck in a life without dreaming because we are so focused on all the negative things we don't want.


I want you to dream. I want you to heal. I want you to forgive. I want you to desire. I want you to surrender. I want you to exhale so deeply that you are a body filled with possibility when the inhale comes.

Magic Making is all of that. It will change your life. It will challenge you, maybe even trigger you a bit. It will ask you for honesty, and time.

It is hard to put into words what the circle is. Because truly it is opportunity. It is possibility. 

It is you. It is the women who are choosing to show up, to say yes.

If we erase bad and good from our experience and simply let this life be a journey into ourselves, it starts to feel like magic.

And that is what we will make. Together.