It was as I imagined and then not. There was the sipping of tea and some quiet reading of the new (old) stories. Light coming from the 10 candles until the sun slowly decided to shine through the clouds. That was the part I imagined and will hold onto.
Starting new rituals that for him will always be in his memories. I am learning to let go of expectations. Watching him now dance around the room holding 2 cookies. Remembering this moment of his face feeling the heat from the candle.
They went off to school and other special places and I pulled myself out of the funk that snuck up on me. Preparing to step into my role as "coach" brought me back to myself. A glass of water. More candle light. Knowing inside that some days feel this way. Stormy inside. And then the lightness comes. Fitting for the solstice. That is what the "coach" would say.
A special gift on Winter Solstice brings hours of joy and loud voices. I sit and watch. How often do I stop myself and just watch the way they play? The stormy mood wants to be still and present. It also wants a cup of tea.
From one mama to you. Happy Winter Solstice. May you feel the stillness after the chaos, light emerging from dark, beauty from the glow of candle light...the love and simplicity of Winter Solstice.