Make a wish. {30 days of visioning into manifesting}

 

The first time I visioned my five beautiful dreams, among them were a space of my own, a disco ball and a trip to NC. I found the feeling inside of the dreams which was freedom.

I was seeking freedom. I had yet to understand what that meant, and somehow after years of a lot of tough experiences, I was open to receiving the message of freedom.

All of those beautiful dreams came to be so fast my nervous system was struggling to keep up.

Just 24 hours after I visioned the NC trip I was opening an email with an invitation inside of it to teach at a retreat in my childhood home of North Carolina.

The space manifested as The Loft which I have held as my heart space for three years and the disco ball was one of the first items ever put inside of it.

The wish that brought the magic was of freedom. I let go of what it would look like as the dreams started to come true. I held onto freedom.

I manifested him from sticky notes, vision pages and boards and my magical man jar. (More about that in the course!)

I didn't believe he existed, this man. I didn't believe I was lovable as a single mom with three kids. But he was my wish. I visioned him down to his name and hair color. The story is wild and crazy and blows my mind when I recall all the parts.

He was my wish. And he came to me. I didn't believe it but I wished it, I felt it, I focused on it. Until the day I knew it was true. Our focus becomes our reality. Our faith lets us make our wish while still being scared of what we want. Visioning is what takes us into that future self.

My wish that brought the magic was love.

When :: March 2nd for 30 days

Why :: A wish can become our magic.

How much :: (my gift to you when you sign up for the Magic Making Circle by March 1st) or... $59.00 for 30 days of inspiration, prompts, action and a virtual space where we will play together. This will be the most amazing warm up time for the Magic Making Circle that I could think of! If you have been wondering if that circle is where you belong to love up your life right now, start here, now.

$59.00

What I will ask of you for these 30 days ::

Make space to be here. Allow yourself the faith in wishes. Use these prompts to spend time with yourself. To light up in a new way. To discover a you that may have hidden out, buried by the stresses of daily living and lost dreams.

Create magical pages, cards, boards, gifts... filled with words and visions and feelings that surround them. As you do this, you harness the vibrations of the Universe. You vibrate in a new way. These creations become a way for you to align what you want with what you have. They create manifesting magic in your life.

I am going to ask you to make wishes. Each day in the form of visioning. The wishes become the prayer dust to manifesting what we desire in our lives. Our vibration of focus is creating the path of our future self.

The feeling inside of the dreams. The secret messages. The boards holding our monthly rhythm. The surprises.

The moment we blow out the candle and whisper our wish to the Universe...

• Wishes
• ‘I am’
• Beautiful dreams
• Wantings
• Desires
• Awakenings
• Words of spirit
• Secret messages
• Blessings
• Manifesting
• Spirit Guides
• Love languages
• Love and love and more love
• The sun and stars and moon
• Storytelling into the night

Through ritualized vision work we can allow each day to guide us towards living joyously, even (especially) when things are hard or challenges arise.

What will you need ::

• A blank journal, I love Moleskine XL Cahier, but anything you love works beautifully.
• Large pieces of cardboard or poster board or a bulletin board.
• Card stock. Start collecting pieces of thick paper from packaging that comes in the mail or you can cut up thin cardboard boxes.
• Some magazines. Ask people to start saving them for you. Go to hair salons and offices and ask for their old magazines. Check out libraries for magazine sales.
• A glue stick.
• Scissors.
• Some space and time.
• Faith that playing in this way can transform your wishes into magic.

if you travel far enough.

"If you travel far enough,

one day you will recognize yourself

coming down the road to meet you.

And you will say

YES."

~ Marion Woodward

An answer to a beautiful question...

Sometimes I wake up and I have pains from my head down my jaw and into my shoulders. Maybe sinus,maybe clenching, maybe stress but most likely all three. I should take stock in Motrin.

I get panic attacks. They have become more like waves than sitting outside the emergency room waiting for the impending heart attack. Those were last year. This year the waves.

My kids fight a lot of the time and it brings me to my knees. And then I yell and knees aren't low enough for how I fall.

I put on weight when I am in a place of unknowing, or cocooning, or feeling scared. And then looking in the mirror is hard. I do it anyway and it can feel like physical pain to know that I am back here again. Learning the same thing over and over and over.

And over. And needing the next size jeans.

I forget to drink water. I wish I could be hooked up to an IV and hydrated once a week. Sometimes I even buy a gatorade and drink it as fast as I can.

I am driving on two flat tires because making appointments to have things or teeth or body parts fixed is not my strength.

I killed my daughter's fish, got mad at Patrick last night because I didn't think he was being supportive (think being the word here) and let my 8 year old stay home because I didn't want to be alone today.

When I got my circle tattoo on my finger they didn't close the circle. I thought they did. But they didn't. And I believe it is the Universe giving me a sign and maybe someday I will close it. Or not.

Sometimes I hurt when I think friends no longer like me or don't need what I give. When I put my heart into things and then feel sad. The fear of losing relationships a constant and getting lost in that, but more than that. Knowing that it does happen and I will be OK. I will be OK.

Some days I can't find my gratitude and I feel like I complained and hid and threw tantrums.

There are memories that haunt me and cycle back into my body and I want to free them.

I am intense and it can be a lot for others to hold.

At 6pm I realize I have nothing for dinner.

This is why my hot cup of coffee each morning made for me with love is sacred.
This is why I wear beautiful jewelry every day and dress myself for how I want to feel.
This is why I pray through words, altars, surrender, tea bags, giggles, connection, texts.
This is why fresh flowers matter.
This is why I send love notes through Fb, texts, the mail, feathers, lipstick, emails.
This is why the picture of the feather my daughter drew for me reminds me that she is watching.
This is why I circle with women who believe in magic and risk and doing things that feel out of their comfort zone.
This is why I keep trying and hoping when every sign points to the shitstorm.
This is why soulwork saves my soul.
This is why there are so many pictures of me on Instagram.
This is why one bite of a chocolate cupcake wearing a vegan leather jacket can feel like a tiny piece of bliss.
This is why gratitude looks like a piece of pie or meeting your girlfriend at the mall on a Wednesday night or patience for feelings you have inside.
This is why I often send out the SOS text for a bottle of red around 5:00pm.
This is why that hug on the beach, barefoot and crying will happen. Over and over.
This is why when I find a shirt that feels like heaven on my skin I buy 4. And then 5.
This is why I don't have to ask how you feel but rather how you want to feel inside of your beautiful dreams.
This is why your stories are mine. Mine yours. And every word is precious.
This is why beautiful is one of my favorite words and joy lives in my gut.
This is why I no longer try to make everyone happy but rather live in my truth.
This is why the irony of scared and sacred isn't lost on me.
This is why there is no doubt magic exists.
This is why love takes so many shapes. Even an unclosed circle.
This is why I love this life now.
This is why I say thank you to my own heart.
This is why when I go to bed I think about who I want to be the next day.
This is why waking up to that coffee is my starting moment, with each sip telling me a story of now.

This is why.

Because it isn't happening to me, it is happening within me.

This is why.

The shifts that I can make blow my mind. So can the sadness I feel. So can the love.

This is why seeing how much beauty exists, even inside of pain, forever guides me.

This is why I travel.

This is my yes.

***

(From Thursday morning love letter from me to you. Sign up in the box up there on the right to receive your little Thursday morning love.)

My answer.

Photo Ruth Clark Photography.

The Making Space Cleanse ~ Summer Solstice Celebration

• 10 days of Making Space at your own pace!
• June 10th
• All leading up to a Summer Solstice Celebration that you have just for yourself or invite others to!!!!
• Together with a group to inspire and support.
• New videos and recipes!
• Join with a friend option.

$79.00 $39.00 Summer Solstice Price!!!  

$49.00 Join with a friend price!!!  

 

How do we get from where we are to where we want to be? We make space for the joy in our now and watch the magic unfold.

I am staring at my piles of clutter, my unswept floors, the toys that fill baskets and are never played with and the Spring garden is begging me to weed it. And I feel panic. Like true, true panic. Where is the time, how did I get here again, where does all this stuff come from? The front door still isn't painted, well, is half painted and none of my boy's clothes fit them. Panic.

I remind myself that this is my life. This is my process. I will always be challenged by space and stuff and piles of clutter. And when I start to feel so disconnected to my home I need to slow down and go back into the process of making space. It is slow. It is guided. It works.

My vision of summer is not piles of stuff stopping me from packing picnics or having spontaneous celebrations with homemade watermelon drinks. I want space, sand on the floor, piles of shells and the sounds of laughter. I want to prepare my home for the change of season because I kid you not, the snow shovels are still sitting in my hallway!

I want to have a Summer Solstice Celebration. So I must make space.

I want to invite you along into ritual, trust and magic. I want you to prepare your home and your heart and your mind for an amazing Summer Solstice Celebration.

This is only the beginning of inviting the magic in and dancing inside of rituals that feed our spirits and trusting that we are not only enough, but if enough could spill into overflowing, that is what we are.

Our homes, hearts and minds are all a part of the journey. Focusing on those, we can then step into the loving task of changing our life through the food we choose to eat, the way we honor our homes and ourselves. This is as close to balance as you can discover. Balance is not a goal it is an action, it is what we are always swaying in and out of. Making space is seeking out ritual, knowing that you will fall out of alignment as part of life's dance and developing the skills to ease back when you do.

For 10 days, making space in our homes, hearts and minds

• One letter each day with a making space prompt, from visioning and clearing space to flipping negative thought patterns
• Small, simple gestures that you can take on at your own pace
• Look at why you hold onto things or have trouble letting go of stuff, thoughts, habits
• 10 days of learning how to listen to yourself, through reflection and meditation
• 10 days of setting aside soft space each day for dreaming, watching and simply being in your space
• 10 days to understand the power you have to control your desires by taking on simple rituals and making more space in your life
• A online FB group of women going through the 10 days with you

Making space in our bodies using thoughts and foods that bring energy, vitality and joy

• Never once will you be worried about breaking a rule
• One recipe a day, straight from my kitchen, very few ingredients, gluten-free
• Nothing is "off limits" (really)
• 10 days of starting each day with softness and ease for your body
• 10 days of learning that you are enough and deserve to be treated like a goddess
• 10 days of watching your body release the habits that are making you exhausted, frustrated and full of anxiety
• One letter a day for 10 days with a prompt to make more space in your body and fill your cells with love and healing

Who is this for?

• Anyone who is ready to make peace with their home and body and understand themselves on a deeper level
  
• Women who are feeling overwhelmed by the clutter in their homes and wanting to make more space and create living spaces that are inviting, cozy and beautiful
• Holistic business owners looking to connect to a deeper understanding of themselves, developing a deeper rhythm of self care
• Mamas needing a support system and guidance in creating more rituals in the home and looking to feel like beautiful women again
• Women who are ready to make more space and allow their spirits to soar

Before you sign up, please read:

• This is not a food cleanse.
• This is about creating space in your life, opening up, expanding.
• This is about you. Your process. You.
  

 

Ready to make some space like these amazing women?

"You can't ask for a more uplifting, motivating and spiritual cleanse! It was better and more inspiring than I ever imagined. You'll wake looking forward to a motivational email. It is all done in baby steps and achievable changes." ~ Sarah Rich

***

"I would recommend this enlightening, soul enriching experience, to all who believe there is more to this life that so easily becomes a rut. slightly resistant, I allowed and trusted in Hannah, one of life's angels (whom I had never met) and on this journey I evolved in so many positive ways." ~ Toba Dadd

***

"A favourite quote of mine is from The Buddha – Do not believe just because wise men say so. Do not believe just because it has always been that way. Do not believe just because others may believe so. Examine and experience yourself.

I experienced for myself the changes which occurred within me and my thoughts to myself and my home after the Making Space Cleanse and Hannah’s soft and beautiful wisdom. You will learn how making your bed with linen you love can become a sacred ritual. How de-cluttering your home and releasing those old toys and books can release you from old emotional patterns and ways of being. I learned that by de-cluttering my daughters old toys I had created a space that allowed me to prepare with ease and grace her moving away from home to University.

Yes, the simple act of releasing clutter from our homes can be that powerful. Through this connection, you will find new connections to your home and yourself. Do not believe, just because wise women say so, examine and experience yourself – welcome to the journey.

Love and Blessings to you" ~Debbi Jackson

A beautiful daily letter holding inside of it...

• My love letter to you and your gorgeous life
• A Soulwork prompt
• A video with me talking to you
• Recipes that are simple and delicious
• A chance to connect with me and other women going through the days on FB
• 10 days to go at your own pace, to discover a you that might surprise you, to make space that is sacred, joyous and yours

When does the 10 days start?

• June 10th, a Monday. I love starting things on Mondays!
• We will go through the days and they will lead us into the most beautiful of Summer Solstice Celebrations!
• One letter a day, for 10 days!
• Sign up with a friend for added support.

Questions::

I have done this cleanse before, is it the same? Mostly, the prompts will be much the same. Videos will be new, new recipes will be added and of course a whole new group of women going through the days together.

Do we need to buy anything? Nope. You can choose the level that you dig in. Mostly we are looking at clearing space not adding more. Sometimes in that clearing you may want to invest in an item that brings you more ease but that is all up to you. The goal is to make space inside of what you already have and learn to create sacred space inside of the home.

What if I am gone some of those 10 days? Often people are traveling. You can save the days letter for another time and add it to your soulwork for later.

How does the group work? The group is on Facebook. It is a private group just for this Making Space Community. Once you register a link is sent out to you with information of how to request into the group and a few other details.

Making Space is a way to change your life through simplicity, ritual and a little magic thrown in:

$79 $39

Summer Solstice Celebration Price!

$49 to join with a friend

"I loved Hannah's Making Space Cleanse. In this beautifully-crafted program, Hannah nudges you to make simple, gentle changes that give you room to breathe and feel more present in your daily life. This space-clearing doesn't feel like a chore and won't overwhelm you with more for your to-do lists. By adding simple, nurturing rituals to your routine, Hannah helps you to see the clutter that's occupying your physical space, dragging your energy down, and preventing you from inviting beauty and joy into your life.

I cleared a lot of clutter during the cleanse, and somehow this felt light and easy to accomplish. The more I moved away, the more energy I felt. I also discovered that I'd been storing some personal baggage in a place that felt stuck for me... a wedding album from an unhappy marriage stashed away in my office. I created a sacred space and stored the album there... I'm honoring the journey I've been on, with all its twists and turns, but now I've created the space to move on and allow new and wonderful opportunities into my career and personal life. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next." ~ Eithne Egan trueessencecoaching.net

2013 The Making Space Cleanse ©

Highly sensitive lists.

she has a fever.

i get up after she finally falls to sleep, hours of waking, 'mama my stomach hurts,' and i can't make it stop.

i clear off the tiny kitchen table that has been covered in stuff for weeks.

the coffee smells like everything. memories, joy, longings, pleasure.

where are the kids thursday, what do i leave for dinner.

without my mother, Patrick, best friends, this travel wouldn't be possible. deep gratitude for the village.

packing list. i can't forget my favorite shirts. how many boots can i cram inside the tiny red case.

little sleep the days before travel.

my mind revolves, i see the prescription for xanax that i think about filling every time before i fly. and never have.

i am about to land in a state that held my life for almost 4 years. i have changed so much.

the young girl who left 14 years ago returns as a woman.

i have curves now. babies. desires filled and filling.

tattoos now grace my skin and the long hair that was cut off there is now returning. and i adore it.

both boys sleeping on the couch as i sip the coffee and sit in the tiny kitchen. i love this kitchen.

when i asked him to leave that home that was once ours he agreed. but i know the decision hurt him. he loved it there. i was so lost.

i feel peace at the east's oceans. never as settled as i am when my feet are buried in her sand.

i feel healing at the west's oceans. my adventure, longings, excitement on her shores.

the whole house sleeps. dog snores.

i make the lists. target. art supplies. i want to go out for breakfast.

the yellow pages pull my anxieties and delights together.

let it rain on your soul. my vision board holds these words.

birds are singing. coffee cold.

he is stirring.

my stomach rumbles. i am grateful. the lists pull my wandering mind back in.

for one moment i relax. and think about what i will have for breakfast.

Goodmorning Beautiful Day. A gift in April.

:: 31 days of waking up to morning affirmation, intention, permission and joy in April (one bonus email on April Eve). My gift to you.

I'm on the computer a lot. I subscribe to too many things and while my email is sort of central operations for my business I am clogged with stuff. I want my email to be a place of ease, not drowning.

I decided that I would unsubscribe to everything that comes in that I don't open and read. There are a lot of them. And as I am doing that I am seeing the words of people who I adore and desire hearing from start to stand out and I have space to receive them.

Mornings have been a place of struggle for me. I could lay in bed with coffee and not move for hours each day but my life is full of kids and animals and a business that lights me up.

I look for ways to add layers to my morning rituals to add ease. I can go out in my jammies to bring the kids to school but when I shower and take time to dress myself beautifully I feel alive, fresh, peaceful.

Starting each day with intention or prayer or inspiration or blessing is for me a life-shifter. I can find myself falling into yelling, resentment, anger, frustration so easily.

If I can grab onto one thought that allows me to vibrate in a new way, which then is like a pay-it-forward effect, each day is gently transformed.

I enter the day with love rather than anger.

I find that I have more patience and time stretches.

I am more focused (and as an adult with OCD/ADD whatever it may be labled this is huge for me) with my daily practices.

You accepting space for my words in your inbox each morning is an honor and I am humbled daily that words I write have such beautiful places to land.

Circling. In Oregon.

(Photo by Kelly Rae)

Circling with women is finding your wings. 

Circling with women draws forth the beauty of voice.

Circling with women is being held, radiated, lifted.

(Photo by Curly Girl)

Circling with women allows you to step into a light whose source lies inside of you.

Circling with women lets you start to erase the shame of showing up in your beauty.

Circling with women is accepting your emptiness, brokenness, fears without blame.

(Photo by Andrea Scher)

Circling with women is stepping in rhythm as your hearts share their stories.

Circling with women is vulnerabilities' tears mixing into laughter.

Circling with women weaves a dream catcher of spirit, full of feathers and heart rocks and nature's gifts.

(Photos by Jess Swift)

Circling with women is a gift.

Circling with women becomes your intuition when your place in this world feels unsteady, alone.

Circling with women, your women, the ones who feel your worth at a soul level, circling with these women allows you to feel the gift, that is you.

***

(I'll be sharing some of the beautiful circling I've been doing in 2013 and then releasing an invitation for circling that came from my dreams.)

Beautiful Faces. Magical Places.

I am eager for the lists that make their way out on sleepy Friday mornings. Today I am a snow you can suck it kind of woman.

Love this woman. Love even more that she wrote this post and unknowingly to me I found the book a few weeks later. Bam.

One of my stunning clients who breathes life into herself through her words.

My gorgeous VA sent this to me, and yes. Just yes.

So honored.

More honor. Seriously, this still takes me by surprise that people ask me to answer their questions. Blessed.

Grab tissues. Just sayin'.

I adore her work, her style, her all.

Just a few spaces left...

My newest obsession...love language like whoa.

Only slightly jealous. I am adoring this woman and the work whe is bringing to the world.

More tissues, and I am in love with light. Shine baby, shine.

I remember the first time I said fuck on my blog, I was so scared, but that was being truly me. Now, no fears.

Michelle wore these in NYC for her gorgeous event, and look at this!!!

Thank you sweet one, so blessed to have your friendship!

Love, love, love the poetry.

So, yes, these are the scarves I've been wearing, love them.

Today...

Let's shed one fear, like a bird loses a feather in flight, by stating it, naming it and letting it flow off of us as though we are birds in flight, knowing that once it drops it will become a magical gift of release...

Some small time ago.

I couldn't walk the dog. Or walk to pick up the kids from school. Or lean down and pick up Lucas when he needed me.

Just going to the beach was a little scary, what if I hurt or couldn't move with the kids.

I gained about 15 pounds.

Atleast 2 weeks out of every month were spent in enormous amounts of pain.

My body was lonely.

I was scared. Having panic attacks sometimes twice a day.

I couldn't have lemon or caffeine or most nightshades.

I knew something deep inside of me was fighting. I was so tired of the struggle.

Making Space for Surrender is the program that came to life because I was easing into my own Surrender. One that over time would turn into a manifestation of healing. Of change. Of choice. 

Yesterday I drank a green tea. I was fine. Joyful.

I can pick up my four year old sleeping, carry him up the stairs and into the house in my heels.

Walking to school and playing in the park, yes. Check.

Long, gorgeous beach walks are planned from now until forever.

The weight is slowly melting off as I experience the sexy exorcism of Forrest yoga each week and try to dance and move.

I drink lots of water now, no fear that it will hurt.

A glass of wine no longer sends me to bed for two days.

The surrender didn't take the pain away. The surrender allowed me to close my eyes and feel the acceptance and love for my body regardless of the pain. Or because of the pain. Or both. To just be. Be there.

And then I could change. I could find my beautiful path to healing.

Now I am surrendering to a new fight. That is how we evolve. Like waves crashing through the fog onto the rock cliffs. And that moment of stillness when you are flooded with calm and light and every spirit guide you'll need to walk with you on your journey.

I will add my guidance.

Today is the final day for the Early Bird sign up rate.

The Surrender, scary-gorgeous.

Story Whispers ~ Sas Petherick

I find myself eager for settling in with a cup of tea or glass of wine with those who I admire and hearing their story whispers. I crave these stories and voices.

The magic inside of the words, the treat of the truth and that moment of ‘yes, me too’ are why we must keep sharing our stories. I am making an effort to hear stories in person and through connection as well as tell my stories in whatever ways the words wish to flow out.

Today I welcome Sas Petherick in all of her fierce softness. I first saw Sas' face in an Instagram picture through a comment she left on someone's picture. I fell hard, the glowing red hair and that smile. So I did what any true stalker does and I followed her and said hello; she is now totally in my heart. 

Sas and I believe in that moment of time in your life when you are no longer willing to accept what is and you know that you, only you, are in control of this beautiful life. I am so deeply honored to invite her to share her story whispers with you.

Sas recently let soar into the world a treasury of wisdom called The Body Stories. It is an ebook, it is free, it is divine. Please make sure to get your copy and be forever touched and changed from the words and images that are inside.

Take us through your gorgeous life in terms of your senses: touch, taste, smell, sight, sound and any others that you possess.

I am woken each morning by BBC Radio 4 filled with world happenings. This is closely followed by purring nudges against my hand, from either Rex or Badger, requiring ear scratches.

I love the feeling of hot water teaming down my body while my mind dances (I have my best ideas in the shower); adorning my body with natural fibres in tones of chocolate brown, red, teal, purple, dark green, feathers and jewels.

Our home smells of rose essential oil or Nag Champa incense, and Arabica coffee beans grinding out the black magic. I adore the Bach cello suites of Yo-Yo Ma, and my husband is a massive jazz fan and so our home is filled with the sound of Monk, Coltrane, Davis: the greats.

Living in London I am surrounded by the great soup of humanity: it’s noisy and dirty and often overwhelming; but I will always be grateful to this place as somehow the harsh anonymity of it gave me permission to be myself.

The moment you knew you had found your thing, the one that would propel you forward because you can’t not do it?

I didn’t realise it at the time, but there was a moment when everything shifted for me. I was feeling sad, disconnected, my mind was scattered; mostly I was furious with myself, the universe and everything.

I went outside, and looked up and I was struck by an utterly overwhelming sense of being so vast, so enormously beyond comprehension, as though I was part of the star-filled night sky. I still can’t explain it.

After that moment, I felt compelled to change some things in my life, and it seemed the universe was conspiring with me. I started walking towards what I really wanted: I looked for ways to use my powers for good!

It has been a long winding road to here, but as the fabulously juicy age of 40 winks at me from around the corner, I am starting to make sense of the path that led me here. And it feels magical.

Feeling phrase: how do you want to feel when you are inside of your creative life?

Ripe, present, intuitive, energetic, and as though there are five baby rabbits doing flips in my belly.

Magical moments: what are they to you and how do you open to receiving them?

Roald Dahl said “those who don't believe in magic will never find it.” I love this quote! There is such magic in noticing your own life. Just being aware of frosty air on your face, the first bite of sea-salt chocolate, the sound of a baby giggling; these moments are tiny miracles. 

For me, magic shows up as synchronicity in words, numbers. And ladybugs: I will often hear the same phrase spoken by different people in the same day. And the number nine appears to be following me around.

My beloved Mum passed away ten years ago and I notice ladybugs (even in the freezing cold of winter) seem to be around whenever I really need her.

Ritual that you start your day with.

I love the few quiet moments standing in the kitchen waiting for the coffee, where I can stretch and take a breath.  

I often meditate in the morning (usually on a crowded tube). Just 20 minutes of stillness connects me to what is important.

Favorite part of your body, tell us why you love it.

My belly. It’s soft and a little squishy and I feel sad that for most of my life I have actively hated it. If only I had known how much it had to teach me! My belly is where my intuition lives; it is where I connect my body, mind, emotions and spirit together. My belly is where I am harnessed to my consciousness.

Favorite quote:

‘Nothing good gets away’ ~ John Steinbeck

A mantra or affirmation that guides you:

‘I am unlimited and abundant’

One of the things I have come to know is that I really don’t need much: just Mr P, our cats Rex and Badger, my tribe, and my inner guidance. (Okay, and my MacBook). The days I spend with them are the ones filled with magic, and this reaffirms that I am living and constantly co-creating a magnificent life.

The cosmic joke of being unlimited and abundant while actually needing very little is not lost on me.

Your guiding word/s for the year:

‘Amplify’.

For me this means living my whole life - feeling the full spectrum of emotions, being aware of and awake to possibility, and living in tune with what matters to me. I have a sense that 2013 is going to be pretty awesome.

***

Sas Petherick is a writer, coach and Life Transformer for people who want an Amplified Life full of WOO HOO! moments. Sas believes nothing good gets away – it’s never too late to choose a new story for yourself.

Sas spent almost twenty years helping thousands of people navigate change in their place of work, before a combination of loss and grief prompted my own transformation path. She is a CTI trained Co-active Coach, and is thrilled to be joining Martha Beck’s Life Coach training in 2013.

Sas is currently coaching 1 on 1, as well as putting the final touches on emBODYment: a juicy online programme for women who want to change their body story and can be found at her beautiful new website : http://www.saspetherick.com/.

Feel. It.

Wherever you find yourself on this Christmas Eve, at a party, in your bathrobe, wrapping under the tree or sipping tea with a few tears...

It is OK to feel it.

Be there. Hold the nowness of it.

Know that feeling joy in our lives means that we get to feel everything so much more deeply. Joy doesn't kick all the other emotions out, it makes space, it opens you so that you can feel it all.

Joy is like a deep breath for your body so she/he may know the beauty of this life. Every choice. Every blink of our eyes. Every needle of the pine tree.

Can you practice a little soulwork today and pull yourself into your now. Can you be right here, let your head stop flowing into what-ifs and regrets? Can you stop making up expectations and feel the reality of where you stand or sit in this one still and ever changing moment?

I'll meet you there today. It is OK to feel it. The joy, the sadness, the missing, the longing, the giggles, the anticipation. Feel it and let that feeling pull you into your now. This one very moment. This one now.

Let the now open space. Let the now be your guide into your next breath.

Sending blessings. xo

Anxiety and breathe.

A week ago I walked into my physical therapy and I was a bit whacko. A ball of chaos and stress. I had been having panic attacks and they were being triggered by all sorts of random bits and pieces.

I blamed it on the little bit of caffeine I had had and mentioned how my bladder can't handle caffeine and I would probably have a flare up and...

"OK." Yep, I was talking a whole hell of a lot, fast. Furious. When I was a kid my nickname was motormouth. (I love listening now!)

She had me lie down and together she helped me practice deep pelvic floor breathing. Kind of like how you go down into your belly for that nice deep breath, well this breath goes down to the pelvis. And it is healing, opening and releasing.

We also talked about something that gave me a huge window into understanding my anxiety. What I've realized is that my anxiety isn't something that is happening to me, it is something that is happening within me.

It is happening within me. And from all I have learned from this gorgeous Universe, my feather finds and moonwalks, is that we have everything we need to be joyful, to be abundant, to be whole.

So I am allowing this truth, it is something within me, to guide me forth. Today she worked on my back and at one point I felt the deepest breath come into my body and I realized that for so long I've been holding my breath. The issues with my pelvic floor are all about holding in and when I took that breath I could feel the connection from the inside of me into the Universe.

It was one of the best breaths I've taken. Will you breathe with me, one deep, deep, full breath? xo

A blessing for battle.

 

You are beauty. You are grace. You are love.

You are not the voices that tell you that you are fat or unloved or without. Broken.

You are joy unfolding.

You are not lacking. You are not them. You are not wrong.

You are perfectly imperfect and passionate beyond your own knowing.

Open yourself. Surrender to that feeling defining you. You are safe.

You are beauty. You are grace. You are love.

Forgive yourself for one moment and feel the gorgeous reality that you are so OK.

Release into your flow that is your dance through this year and into the next.

Send the sparks of desire, the waves of delight and the echo of your dreams into this day. And into this
night.

This is your blessing. A blessing to carry into battle.

You are beauty. You are grace. You are love.

Essay from the bathroom.

Connection to home is my form of balance. When I'm off scrubbing the bathroom it will slowly rock me back into rhythm. My friend calls doing such things 'making home.' Gorgeous, yes?

I have the moment where I still can't believe we have lived here almost 8 years and still have the baby blue sink, one of the first things I dreamt of changing. I scrub it with a magic eraser every few months to wash off the scum from five bodies sharing one tiny bathroom. And it glows. When I was a child I loved cleaning the bathroom sinks. I used that powered comet and I loved seeing it go from scummy to clean under my hands.

My mind comes to life. Ideas flow, lists that only a right-brained, highly sensitive would understand start to form; which means a list that will be forgotten too. I write in my mind as I scrub. On my hands and knees, grateful for having paper towels (rare in this house) so I don't have to use a hundred little cleaning towels. I'm sure I'll remember the words later. I'm always sure. It is sometimes as though I haven't been introduced to parts of myself.

No, I won't really remember I later remember.

I remember being pregnant on these same hands and knees which now feel almost like a different body, scrubbing this space for the first time. I am a mama of three kids now. This house is full. We use so much toilet paper now. I have two boys; did I ever think I would have two boys?

Stepping into the shower to use my own power to wipe the walls and clear the stains, more memories; the shower I would stand in after Eli was born and relive his birth, every time, every shower. My voice screaming. Then remembering he is safe. Still the child I worry about the most, the one my body can almost feel every time he is hurt, connected somehow deep in our senses.

The bathroom felt bigger 8 years ago. My life was tinier. There are seven toothbrushes I count as I wipe off the shelves. Toothpaste and fingerprints on the walls.

I imagine stretching it out, first the bathroom and then my visions of my life. My dreams. How can I expand this bathroom? How can I expand my path.

The match strikes and I light the candle. Every sparkling bathroom must end with the flicker of a candle smelling of frankincense or sandalwood or jasmine.

The sink is still blue.

We are still here.

Somehow I am bigger now.

Exhaling the truth.

You may not believe me when I say my mornings are really tough until you realize that I wake up just like you. I have three kids under 10 and if you have children you may understand waking up to more expectations of you then you feel capable of meeting. Yes, there are giggles and there is joy but it is hard work. Often exhausting.

And I wonder where I fit into that puzzle. I wonder where my marriage fits into all of it. Maybe you wonder too.

Recently Patrick spent the week at home with me and I realized how deeply, deeply I miss him. Our lives are so separate from what were once lives in constant rhythm.

And I wonder how to heal that now, not in 5 years when the kids are older. Maybe you wonder too.

You may think that the me you see here, in these spaces is me until you realize I am just like you, everyone of us who have online personalities are more than what we ever show here. This is our persona, no matter how hard we try to bring you the truth, it will always be limited.

And I wonder how to align the different parts of myself, so that there is less of a gap between the me that shows up here and the me that lives in real time. Maybe you wonder too.

You may think I have patience and never eat just a small bag of potato chips I grabbed at the gas station for lunch until you realize that we all have so many unseen unspoken moments. We are going at a pace towards the change we long for and sometimes baked lays just taste so freaking good when we are too tired to make a salad.

And I wonder what it would be like if we could share more of those moments and start to bridge the gaps of perception and reality. Maybe you wonder too.

You may think you see me. I may think I see you.

And we do. We see pieces of each other. Part of the work we are doing is learning how to fit these pieces together, make them flow together even when they don't fit. Even when they make us angry or wanting to be something entirely transformed.

What I love about this life is that at any moment I can change. I can make a choice to feel differently. I can drop the anger. I can find new words. I can cut my hair or grow it longer than its ever been. I can wear feathers, get a tattoo, sell everything I own and move across the country. Somehow. There is always the somehow. There is always a way to change, to choose, to grow, to evolve.

And I wonder if you feel the gap closing in your own world and if you can see me more clearly each time we exhale the truth.

In real time. And a Tiny Devotions Mala Giveaway.

Art by Cheryn from the August Joy Up, now resting in my kitchen!

A dive into gratitude this year, beginning with my 38th birthday. I offered my newest program, Spirits of Joy, just for that one day as my gift. Not even two hours after I announced my birthday gift there were 200 sign ups and the calm of birthday morning was quickly turned into rushing to find a new way to give out this gift. The system I set up was not able to allow more than 200 'free' things out in a day.

I fixed the problem after a few panicked phone calls to my support team, thank goodness they love me! By the end of the night over 500 sign ups. A huge silent and not so silent blessing to Susannah - xoxoxo - who writes one sentence about it and more sign up. And so many of you in this beautiful community shared this program not because of me and my little, um big, birthday but because you believe so deeply in this work.

After the day of giving I tucked a nice low price on it and by last night 600 women, exactly, were signed up.

This is freaking awesome and it scared the shit out of me. I felt a bit paralyzed by the truth of that.

It was magic.

And scary. I am beyond proud of the way I've created and dreamt my business. I love the way my work is unfolding because it is so completely me, not a formula, just my intuition and my love of heart-centered marketing. It never occurred to me to ask my friends to help me spread the word (now I know I could lovingly do so). So many of you did. This is about the journey but it is also about me learning to be where I am.

To accept the fear that came with 600 gorgeous souls being a part of this. Behind the scenes of this blog are a lot of hours, manifesting deep, real connections, saying to the kids "give me one more minute" and late, late nights. It is a part of me that keeps me pulsing now.

Each time the business grows I learn how to hold that new amount of energy, that is what we are doing when we create community, bringing our energy together. As a coach you learn how to guide without being drained and giving away your energy, this is a tender process that takes time to learn and develop.

I had a teary hour with my coach where she helped me find the space to shift back into my flow of writing. That is where the magic is, in this shift, making space to return to the words. The messages. The truths.

Day 1 started today. I'm sitting on the porch, markers and gluten-free pretzels that the kids abandoned for bikes. And I type. In real time.

Mala from me to you. My African Jade Mala, that has been with me for the last year, that I gifted to myself after last summer's joy up. I want to give it a new home, with one of you in this community that keeps me honest and reaching towards deeper grace in all I do.

My new Mala, Awakening, was a birthday present from sweet Jenny (The Biz Doula). From dreaming and learning to hold energy to discovering the possibilities inside of myself. My journey. The Jade Mala is ready to share energy with a new person. I love the idea of passing it forward. (And there might be a few more goodies to find their way into that package!)

I've wanted to do this for a while since my new Mala arrived. I thought maybe you all would think I was crazy giving away my necklace. But in real time. Doing it today. Just leave a comment if this Mala speaks to you. xo

IMG 3255 from Hannah Marcotti on Vimeo.

September Space

Patrick, my husband, and I have the same birthday.

When he told me that 19 years ago I thought he was kidding. His flirtations started with me just a few days after I turned 19. Here was this big guy who had a big crush on me and I thought, "Oh, cute pick up line!" Well, he really does. And we really do, September 20th. We would go on to have Chloe on September 15th and then Lucas on September 9th. Huge birthday month for us. (Eli gets June all to himself!)

What I most wanted for my birthday was space. I've been making a whole lot of space in my life for my own heart, home and mind and I want to share it with you.

In September, in honor of space, start the 10 day cleanse any time you are ready, get a big discount AND give away a spot in the cleanse for FREE! What? Totally, karma, birthday month, give something away and feel the joy that is returned to you.

This is the cleanse that has very little to do with food (but you get two new recipes a day) and is not about restriction. It is about expanding space. It is magical. I know because I have lived it. This cleanse grew from the work I was doing in my own life, clearing the clutter from my home which opened up the space inside my heart and mind to truly access my essence.

Click here for more information...

These are the 10 days that allow you to be still and take action in beautiful harmony. It is the cleanse that women write to me after and say, "Yeah, I thought I was just clearing out clutter and being present, I had no idea I was actually reconnecting to myself each time I let more go."

Magic. 10 days. Will you?

Brave is our now.

My guiding word for the year is magic.

I like to give each month a name, or place a guiding phrase behind it so that I will know what I'm working towards. September is the month I am turning 38, an age I have been excited about for a long time. 38 feels solid, secure. I have my children and now watch them grow. I have a gorgeous business that I am nurturing and bringing to a new place. I have been married for almost 14 years, together with Patrick for 19 years. Oh yes, I said 19!

Things scare me. Jumping out of an airplane. Getting a tattoo. Having those conversations with my man that affirm that we aren't always connected, that a new phase of the marriage is coming. I think tattoos and conversations can be quite sexy, so the jumping out of a plane is not going on the brave list, not so sexy to me.

Being brave is saying, I am not feeling so happy right now and I need to tell you.

Being brave is going to the place in your heart that knows the little secret longing you have and listening to it.

Being brave is giving when you have little.

Being brave is getting that ink you have always dreamt of, even though permanency is scary as shit.

Being brave is connecting in new ways, when you are safe sitting in your house, on your couch, with your computer in your lap.

Being brave is choosing the path to healing, not the quick fix.

Being brave is caring for someone else when you most need to be cared for.

Being brave is taking a breath when you just want to scream at the kids for fighting, again.

Being brave is the 12th carload to the salvation army because stuff everywhere doesn't feel good even though letting it go hurts.

Being brave is letting them ride their bikes around the neighborhood without you.

Being brave is figuring out how to be sexy again, after years of growing children, nursing them, holding them every night.

Being brave is creating the next program, having faith that it is right, it is time, it is now.

Being brave is believing Oprah really is your friend on Instagram.

Being brave is going towards the unknown of all of it.

Being brave is saying Holy Shit!!! Holy Shit!!! Holy Shit!!! three times on your blog.

Being brave is that yoga class you swear you are going to start taking on Tuesday nights.

Being brave is public accountability for that yoga class, the tattoo, that next program. (What else did I just promise I was doing?)

Being brave is not having the bladder surgery and leaving pride at the door. Yep, bladder is gonna' rock it out in physical therapy.

Being brave is putting the four year old in one day of day care so that you can finally have one full day to work, co-work at that!

Being brave is our now.

Being brave is saying that jumping out of a plane is so not happening, cause I gotta' be me. This new version of me that is being brave. In my own ways.

Wanna join me? September, all I ask for my birthday is that we can do this together. Brave is our now.

Stepping into the ease.

Part of the post is from a letter from The Joy Up, A 30 Day Journey. Shared with love::

Learning to love myself, finally, after 37ish years came quite surprisingly at my highest non-pregnant weight. Spending years in yo=yo diets, and I mean since I was like 12, I finally stopped. Stopped all of the diets and rules and early gym mornings. I just let my body be.

I gained weight, my body had never, ever existed as an adult without some sort of diet or restrictions to keep my weight low. I had never found a way to love my body inside of all the deprivation. Not even after being a health coach for two years. I was still finding ways to convince myself that if only I could make one more plan...lose a few more pounds 'healthfully' I would find that love.

20 pounds over my post pregnancy weight at 150 pounds (on the scale at the Dr. office, not knowing my weight since obsessively weighing to stay 128 pounds for years), I stopped. Let it all go. Released. Started to enjoy food again. This last year of my life has been a turning point. I learned to love myself, to release all the old thoughts of having to control everything. I knew all of it intellectually but had never quite been able to live it. Until Joy and I started to dance and she took my hand and led me down a path that I continue to discover daily.

And this is only the beginning. It is still new and scary and feels deliciously fresh.

As I would eat foods, no restrictions, some things that were known to be healthy wouldn't feel good inside of my body. Other foods would feel delicious. It took me months to learn to trust that intuition, that deep body knowledge, what I always knew all along. This trust feels gorgeous. It is not deprivation, it is delicious knowing.

Eating to feel gorgeous felt gorgeous. It meant chocolate puddings with coconut milk, curries simmered with carrots and chicken, decaf coffee with coconut milk, eggs every morning, lots of salads in every shape and the occasional red wine in the evening.

It meant that I stopped trying to give up the morning cup of decaf I loved so much and never bothered me. But I gave up the gluten-free toast that was making me sick.

It also meant loving a wiggly, jiggly belly. A face that was fuller than I remembered it ever being.

It was me. Meeting my needs for feeling amazing in this body of mine. For easing the burden of brain fog and bloated belly. My needs for feeding myself with the same amount of love I finally felt for myself. It continues with that layering in movement, space, stillness, nurturing with time and energy.

That love will carry you to places you never imagined. Doesn't mean you won't have days where you kind of wished your belly was flatter or that your eyebrows could just go in one direction, but it means that deep down you are love. Loved.

I got to that love through joy. Through my allowing of joy to be present despite all of the past hurts, pains, regrets. Allowing joy to shine inside of my body, even when I felt down. In the very basic discovery that what I want, is made today. Love. Loved. Joy.

And now my body is starting to shift. It feels like love. It feels amazing to be losing weight that doesn't belong, but without any sort of 'rules.' Just following what feels really good to my body. 

I had a hard time letting go of wanting to eat the classic healthy foods. Brown rice, oats, green smoothies. I fought to keep those in my life because others felt good eating them. When I let all the rules go, let go of any restrictions other than I must feel good when I nourish myself, I felt like I was myself again. A self that feels gorgeous in her skin. Intuitive eating. Letting go of your need for any other outcome other than being totally in love with you.

It takes time. It takes the journey.

The only way it could have happened for me was to find that love in a weight that felt uncomfortable to the woman who had spent so many years dieting. In a body that had longed to be skinnier its whole life. (I recently saw a picture of myself in HS and couldn't believe  that this girl could feel so badly about herself, she was so cute and I just wanted to hug her. I was almost surprised by how small I was.)

To celebrate myself I went to a conference this past July and it was the first time before a very public event that I didn't spend time trying to lose just a few pounds so my stomach would be just a little bit skinnier. It was the first time I got dressed to be surrounded by my friends and colleagues and felt beautiful. Like glowing. Like me. Like the woman I have been trying to be my whole life.

Each morning at my hotel I had the most delicious eggs and sausage that I have ever eaten. I sipped decaf lattes. I ate gelato with my soul-sisters. (Ahem, Rachel, Tiffany, Michelle, Laura.) I felt like a woman. I should feel that way, shouldn't I? Honoring my curves.

When my husband says, "You look beautiful" I should feel that from the inside, shouldn't I? When we are together in that delicious way, I should want him touching all of me, not everywhere except my belly.

Spreading wings into joy. I want more of this. I want this for you.

Joy wants to take your hand, your joy sisters want to stand in a circle with you, celebrating this deep love.

The way I could be loved at 18 is so very different than the way I can be loved now. It is so much deeper, so much more intense and whole and can scare the shit out me.

Learning to accept that and truly be in that, this is the ease that is waiting. This is the softness and the healing mixing and feeling unexpected.

This is the journey into joy.

When your daughter has a panic attack

She can't breathe, having trouble finding her next breath. But she can breathe, I know she can. Panic attacks go to my heart, they go to her breath.

It is her second one. She felt nauseous, in that moment she thought she would throw up, the panic snuck in. I am amazed as a mother how calm I am when I am called to be the one who knows, who understands. My otherwise frantic and impatient mind finds gentleness and stillness. That is why I coach, I take pictures, I write. I like it there.

I promise her that she can breathe, that her body is tricking her a little bit. We talk about what she was thinking about. She says, "I always try to think about good things before I go to sleep." If only we all could do that.

She knows that dairy makes her naseous but is still in that place of deciding how much to eat, how bad to feel. As a mother I could enforce it more strongly, this would just create more resistance to letting it go. I let her decide. As adults I know how hard the battle is to feel good.

Her panic is short. I love that. I love how quickly my voice and presence can relax her, within minutes she is asleep. I don't curse the genetic line of panic attacks, I embrace that we can move through them, we can find our peace.

The last week I have had two panic attacks. One while driving a van full of kids home from the beach, the whole time promising myself that I was not having a heart attack and dying, the other part of me planning how I would stop the van safely while I was having the heart attack. It lasted about 30 minutes as the kids slowly all fell to sleep.

Humidity seems to make my anxiety swell. Grains seem to make my anxiety swell. I've already let go of caffeine.

The truth is that I have high anxiety.

We all have truth.

And choice.

Being fully inside of my highly sensitive nature means that I feel a whole hell of a lot.

When your daughter has a panic attack, you talk to her. Sit with her. Promise her with your whole heart that she can breathe.

With each breath you remember how you want to feel.

And find a way to feel it.