I sat with a bowl of arugula, sauted chick peas and goat cheese.
I thought about the calm that was around me.
I saw the toys scattered from the play date that morning, feeling happy Lucas had some time to be the big kid of the house.
I remembered the noise of all three of my children when they are home and thought of what I might do with them in the afternoon.
Patrick called and told me his heart space is when he is alone with me, snuggled up in the quiet.
I thought about how good it feels to be in that loved place with him.
I felt the spice in my mouth from the curry I added to the chick peas and I wanted to eat slowly so I could savor each bite.
I wondered how long Lucas would nap and if I would accomplish some of my work tasks.
I thought about my house, how we are stretching it at it's seams with our large family under it's small walls.
I tried to think of the love that is under these walls, not the size or the flaws it may have.
I thought about someday a new place, a home that allows us all to have some special space and to spread out a bit.
I wished for a little bit of change.
I remembered I hadn't had enough water and should have two glasses before going to pick the kids up.
I ate my last bite and felt warm inside, the curry was good.
I cried to Patrick this morning before he left for work.
He instantly made me feel calmer and understood.
I thought about time, I thought about now.
I thought about then.
Where are your thoughts bringing you on this last day of September 2010?