Picture Thoughts ~ In My Stillness

There is a stillness that washes over, after something nestled inside your heart is nurtured and released. Post Joy Ups I spend some days in weepy reflection. Quiet meditation, happy exhaustion. I light the candle with intention that I may learn how to be in stillness and let go of what was and what will be so I can feel what is now. Easy to write, a challenging practice.

Asleep at 9 pm, a nap for an hour the next day. This is a rhythm that feels unwelcome. Rest. Stop. Peel away. Slowly I'm learning how to listen to the advise I speak. Wanting nurture for you, must mean wanting nurture for me. How many of us women feel better as the giver, struggling with the role of receiver? Questioning if we are giving the right things meeting the moment when we need to be given.

The pull of needs from three children seeking time and focus, a business longing to burst in its abundance, a body starving for movement, a marriage wondering when its time comes, friendships to make space for, more greens to chop and blend, big ideas looking for room to pop, the puppy that just can't stop jumping on guests that walk in the front door. This is my story. My truth is that I am ready to expand into more simplicity and presence.

My soulwork, now, is spilling my heart in the stillness.

You look at a picture and forget how frustrations were building and the chaos that managed to stay out of the frame. What matters is the way the light shining down reminds you that this moment was beautiful. The stillness is not literal in my mama life. It is a time when I clear clutter, cry some gunk out, try not to push during the pull and look around.

My soulwork is opening up to expansion of joy.

Picture Thoughts ~ Under the Harvest Full Moon

Remembering: The trees displayed in each season and realizing the word moon was right there, always shining on me. The intention of connection and simplicity and noticing is happening in my world and the moon was my guide. Yes, I remember now.

Noticing: The very clear messages around me. Seeing the moon in its fullness and taking in that message --only I stop me.

Creating: Space for special where once there was none. Sitting out under the moon, candles, twinkly lights. All in my outside office. Ideas flowing in, harvesting my plans for what is coming next.

Loving: The seasonal yearly rhythms of our life. That they treasure this time as I do. Every Autumn of Eli and Lucas' lives (and the ones Chloe can remember) have included these trees, those apples, this moment looking up.

Applesauce and crisp.

Tradition and joy.

Harvest and moon.

What are you remembering? noticing? creating? loving?

Picture Thoughts - Colors of Stillness

Red = My passion, love, divine self love. Sitting in stillness before my altar, breathing in the meditation. Knowing that this moment of stillness is the reason I can move through the day in fullness, in simplicity. In true completion.

Purple = My spirit, my goddess energy, the depth of abundance. That moment before you take a bite. The whisper of gratitude. The longing to be truly nourished not just filled. The long table full of nothing else. And the smell, yes, the smell.

White = The sparkle of joy's presence, her dance, the wings of intention. I ask her often, Joy, if I am on the right path. If I am able to trust in the next steps, in the stillness that must arise before the movement. She usually whispers that I should start by tackling the stillness of the dirty dishes and let the rest fall perfectly into place.

Blue-green = The stillness, thoughts surrounded by silence, intuition's voice. That moment when your gut is telling you something isn't right, and you listen, you find a way to change, push past fear, say no. Or hell yeah. Into feeling the stillness of the so-right.

The Joy UP Tribe Women -- The Voice of Kelly

Please join me in welcoming another voice from The Joy UP. Women who came together and journeyed through joy. Their voices are beautiful. Welcome today’s voice, Kelly.

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I don't know how I came upon Hannah or The Joy Up, but I'm forever changed and thankful. I know my definition of JOY has changed. Joy is now found in meditations, objects, and rituals I'm embracing and needing. I find her in routines and moments that carry me through better days, kinder words, and deeper breaths. 

JOY is now the gift I give my children, my other half, and myself because I'm stopping the negative chatter in my head, stopping the anxiety that something will go wrong or someone will get sick. I am stopping the frustrating rants that come from not taking care of ME. 

JOY is replacing the negative space within me.

With treasures we grow, collect, touch, and smell. Treasures we paint, cut, and glue. 

Stopping to hold a rock or shell and whisper an intention, or just feel it's energy so we might share that energy.

Corners that seek abundance.

Gentle reminders, and rearranging our space to let those reminders be heard, be present, be completed.

A box of intentions just waiting for me.

I silently turn the one I need over, even when I'm not sure what I need. I smile because the universe always knows.

A bed that's made, fancy homemade jewelry, sparkles on eyelids, videos from Hannah in the wee hours of the morning, walks at dawn, and everything in my space reminding me to stop, breathe, be thankful, and...

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You can connect with Kelly Gleason Sage at Sagetribe, a beautiful blog with the quest of living simply, eating locally and finding joy everyday.

Picture Thoughts {Senses}

In a house that sees small amounts of direct sun, this moment of flickering light allowed me to dream of where these days were taking us. Visions of the beach, sandy floors and bronzed faces danced in my head.

As you walk by you hear a little bubble sound, a slight popping of mouths intent for food. We started with 5 fish, two years ago, and this week were left with 3. There were two RIP fish burials outside. Eli wished them well in the sky, Lucas thought they were sad and Chloe just didn't want to talk about it. She made them gravestones.

An impromptu ice cream party when the kids discovered it was the anniversary of the ice cream sundae!!! Coconut milk ice cream with homemade magic shell (1 cup dark chocolate melted with 1/3 cup coconut oil) and our mouths were dancing with joy.

They drew first, turning brown paper easily into a story with their magic touch. I watched them weave the string into the holes, I could feel Eli's frustration before he asked for help. Chloe needed no assistance, only the gentle touch of praise.

I eat my chicken soup that smells like home and look at the largest to-do list I have ever needed. By the end of today it will be filled up with pen marks. The scent of green tea will join my afternoon. Two days until the dream I've seen, smelled, tasted, heard and touched, so many times, pops out of my head and becomes reality.

The sight of women. Standing. Moving. Being together. United in this life. Wanting beauty.

The sound of joy. Through music. Our laughter. Questions and purpose.

The taste of nurture. Crisp salads. Crunchy soft. Melting in your mouth.

The touch of relaxation. Intention grabbing us. Softness of movement.

The smell of space opening. In our hearts. Bodies. As we eat together. While we feed our spirit.

Picture Thoughts - Change

After almost 7 years, new colors are appearing. A move into joy, a step towards the future. I embrace change, am bored without it. For some things.

Looking to see the places where my dreams settled into my existence and the space where the wishes still exist as sparkly-energy-thoughts. What will remain and follow me through another year? What picture of myself will I choose that resonates with all I want, hope and dream?

It is not an easy journey, unscrambling the pieces of ourselves from the realities of our space. Change flowing through us, easy does not describe the lengths we go, as we discover our truth. We feel full, purposeful, uncomfortable. (Thank you Anisa for the gorgeous photo.)

I can do it, just hold the shelf in place. I can't find the holes, it isn't straight. Up on the right more. Let me look. And then he climbs on the ladder and finishes it himself. A few years ago, that might have ended up a fight. A beautiful change.

Pink hair found me at 14. Pink hair found her at 8. I am amazed at her funky way of moving through this world. While I have wished so many things could be different, when I see who she is becoming, the gap between what I dreamed and what is doesn't seem so steep.

A leap.

Trusting in what is possible may stretch an old story. A decision made so out of comfort. Change. Beauty. Butterflies dancing in a world where we only visit. A moon rising and uniting us. A breath we pull in.

Trusting in it so deeply that butterfly kisses tickle our cheeks, and we slowly exhale.

Picture Thoughts

I photographed this tea but never drank it. As with many of my cups of tea, it moves from place to place, finally finding a home behind a curtain on a window sill. Have you ever noticed your reflection in your morning mug? I notice that woman sometimes when her pace is slower and present. When she runs around in too many directions the reflection is lost and the tea is cold.

I said I needed a full day without any computer, phone, deadlines or writing. She jumped up grabbed a pen and flipped through the calendar. "How about the 6th?" No I can't do that. "The 10th?" Perfect, I have a talk on the 9th, I'll look forward to that break. She's good for me.

Adding some sprouts and avocado to the soup seemed to bring a taste of spring. I feel cold inside my bones. Wishing I moved my body a bit more. It was a good breakfast. Tomorrow I may have chocolate.

Really tough stuff right now, for the middle one. At this age we couldn't imagine the way time could bring such struggle to his body and mind. He seeks a control that he doesn't understand. He pulls away and then jumps right back, sobbing. Five is his battle ground as he starts to read and imagine and explore. Even these moments don't crack a smile.

Amazed at how OK I am with how this one dream is looking. Enjoying the process of being me, a story the 17 year old me would not have believed. The quiet moments. I listen to the light snore next to me, in our bed. The 19 year old me always knew he would be right there. I keep dreaming and the power behind it, that's me.

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Do you feel the power behind your dreams? Are you allowing the quiet moments?

Share these thoughts with someone close to you today. Share it forward.

Picture Thoughts - Winter Solstice

It was as I imagined and then not. There was the sipping of tea and some quiet reading of the new (old) stories. Light coming from the 10 candles until the sun slowly decided to shine through the clouds. That was the part I imagined and will hold onto.

Starting new rituals that for him will always be in his memories. I am learning to let go of expectations. Watching him now dance around the room holding 2 cookies. Remembering this moment of his face feeling the heat from the candle.

They went off to school and other special places and I pulled myself out of the funk that snuck up on me. Preparing to step into my role as "coach" brought me back to myself. A glass of water. More candle light. Knowing inside that some days feel this way. Stormy inside. And then the lightness comes. Fitting for the solstice. That is what the "coach" would say.

A special gift on Winter Solstice brings hours of joy and loud voices. I sit and watch. How often do I stop myself and just watch the way they play? The stormy mood wants to be still and present. It also wants a cup of tea.

From one mama to you. Happy Winter Solstice. May you feel the stillness after the chaos, light emerging from dark, beauty from the glow of candle light...the love and simplicity of Winter Solstice.