Shamed for being you.


I hung up with my love after we spent time talking and feeling crushed at one of our kids being shamed for a choice. A choice that was all about self expression. A choice where she said, now I finally get to be me.

Not everyone will like her choice. Not everyone will think she looks incredible. Not everyone will even be able to see that her wanting it was nothing to do with anyone else other than herself.

We processed together, we made a plan on how to help her and support her.

What I am going to tell her is that the reason I was able to go get my hair cut into a shag with bangs was because of her. I was able to fully communicate who I wanted to show up as because of her, because of her bravery to chop off all her hair and reveal under those layers, feeling like she was the image of someone else, her own damn self.

I was afraid of getting bangs again. I heard some comments about them not being so great on me in past photos and it stopped me from going forward. I knew that the hair I wanted had to include these fringy curly bangs (yes, curly, bangs can be curly, mind blown).

It was her brave that led to my brave. It was seeing her light up inside of making a choice only for herself that allowed me to follow suit. 

And I TEACH this stuff!!!

So our hearts are a bit broken that others are making her decision and desire one turned into shame. And. We will rise above that and we promise her that she is not ever responsible for someone else's feelings. If we intentional hurt someone we need to own that and look at that and face that. And. Not everything we do is about someone else.

So now I'm all madly in love with my Spiritstyle hair. Madly in love with my man who ended our conversation telling me that what makes things OK for him was that he has me, the most amazing partner he could have dreamt of.

And I went from angry to floating in a bubble of love because that's what we have.

I will fluff my shag haircut, put on my Spiritstyle of choice today, which may change five times today, because who I want to be is calling me loudly, sometimes it takes a few tries to find her!

If you wanna play, just fill in the blank...

Today I shall be...

Then go find the clothes to become that.

Today I shall be warm, spiced surprise. Today I shall be wild woman wandering. Today I shall be peace and softness. Today I shall be a kick ass get shit done entrepreneur. Today I shall be the quiet. Today I shall be joy filled pink bubble vibration. Today I shall be kindness unquestioned.


Come visit me over at my Instagram boutique (re)spiritingstyle, new to us treasures listed weekly, often on Fridays.