A note from Valentine's Day

I was explaining to Dave last night on Valentine's eve why Valentine's day is important to me. 

Other than the fact that there is a day all about showing and sharing love. I mean, ignore the flower and diamond commercials, a day about love!

When I was married, I shared a birthday with my husband. And because I love to celebrate and make things special I usually was making the cake and dinners for our birthday and anniversaries. 

I didn't have a day that was just mine, since meeting him at age 19. I wasn't resentful, I just had this little girl part of me that longed for that special day.

So, one year I asked him if Valentine's could be mine. I wanted to claim my day as the day when the world was glowing under a giant glow of love bubbles.

Mostly it stuck. It never really became Hannah day, but the intention was there. And I had asked. Which was super hard for me, still is, but holy-wow am I getting better at it.

I do have a Hannah day now. Dave and my girlfriends have made it crazy special and loving. I don't technically need to steal Valentine's day anymore as my day. I can probably let it go.


This year all 5 kids spent three days making Valentine's cards for their friends and teachers.

Our 11 year olds made Valentine's from their giant stuffed animals who are apparently in love. (The cheetah and the tiger, the tiger played hard to get for a while there, we weren't sure how it was going to play out.) Then they came up with their own designs for their closest friends.

Our 7 and 8 year olds had completely different approaches. One powered them out in batches. No nonsense style. The other I had to bribe with hot chocolate and lollipops after getting through a few at a time. Neither of them ever wanted to write their name again after 30 handmade Valentines!

The 14 year old artist who blows me away every year with what she comes up with, ended up printing funny photos of each of her friends and then writing clever little memories on them.

Our house was covered in pink pompoms and glitter heart covered doilies. 

I don't have many memories from a young age. I do remember making Valentines. The table filled with supplies and colors that just feel good inside. I remember going to school and wondering what each child would bring and sometimes looking for those extra special words tucked inside the one the boy-crush would give.

The taste of candy hearts after giggling about the messages like little fortunes of love.

The anticipation of the giving and receiving.

The day of love.


I actually don't want to give it up, this day. I love this day. Adore this day. 

I know that there are people who just don't like this day. Who struggle to look past the ads to spend money on shit we don't need or the way it has become about buying rather than making or who have hearts that have been hurt.

I know what it is like to have Valentine's day come and have no one's arms to fall into. To have no one to wake up next to to kiss.

I also know that a day that is on our calendar that is all about love is nothing to take lightly. I could honestly care less about Columbus Day, but I try.

But a day about love? I don't have to try. We can't ignore this one. We need it more than ever. This day.


I'm so in love with my man I have trouble wrapping my brain around it. We were fighting last year on Valentine's day and my stomach felt sick being alone, away from him. We were really stupid for a long time, constantly pushing and punishing each other. 

This year we are smarter. We have more fun than I thought possible. More sex than I thought possible. More intimacy than I thought possible. More joy and excitement for our becomings than I thought possible.

All of those day's of love, when I asked for it to be my day, when I was alone with my heart longing for love, when we were fighting and hurt, when I am blissed out; all of those days were part of the circle of love.

That is what love is. The struggle. The hurt. The faith. The longing. The anticipation. The kiss. The devotion.

This day is all of it.

Root in today. Deep down. Root down into love and feel it from the earth up into your feet, rising up through you, lifting you, surrounding you in a soft pink glow and a vibration that is the connection to love. For love. Of love. 

This day is ours. Crazy special magic that feels sensual and open. Love.

Just a little something I wanted to say today, on Valentine's day, my super special day.