My first Thai food Thanksgiving.

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Today is my first Thanksgiving inside of my separation from the man I spent the last 21 years with.

My heart wanted me to run away. To have him take the kids and let me be with just myself.

We decided it was important for us to be together. To still have our family structure which has been my rock for so long intact.

But I couldn't eat turkey or gravy or pumpkin pie. Thanksgiving cooking would be stressful enough but I don't want those flavors to hold memories for my kids of their first Thanksgiving in this newness.

Our favorite food together as a family is Thai food. So I got the intuitive hit to ask my daughter if that would be ok. She was thrilled, she told me she silently squeeled with delight. And my daughter doesn't squeel!

So I picked up the Thai food and put it in the fridge to be heated up later today. I will get ice cream or something yummy for after. We will all watch a movie together. My son still wants mashed potatoes. Fair enough.

We will find our way. I imagine I will cry. It's a daily practice for me now. I am learning to let the tears flow without judging them.

And my gratitude will be for this beautiful family that has allowed me to step inside of my truth and desires and needs while standing in theirs. It is a blessing that will be felt every time I eat Pad Thai.