Crabby Thoughts

I was at a grocery store today and I noticed three large words on the side of the building. Relax. Renew. Revive.

My whole family is sick. Patrick who never gets sick, is sick. I am the only one in the house without a hacking cough. Lucas has been coughing in my face all night long for the last few nights and I am silently hoping I stay the only one without a cough. I would love to tell you how gracefully I have been handling the wide awake nights but I am not one to lie. So the truth is I am about as crabby as it gets.

So as I walked past 5 smokers, one lady wearing an entire bottle of perfume, 2 kids asking me for money to donate to something and into the store I wasn't exactly feeling the message posted on the building. I was crabby, really crabby. I went in to buy the orange juice that Patrick requested (he is withering away with no appetite) and the store was packed. People everywhere. I had a moment where I wanted to communicate my crabbiness to all of them, but I kept moving through the store uttering nasty words to the person who wrote those calming words outside.

I paid for my orange juice and went past the kids asking for money, the many smokers and into my car. Driving away I felt so grateful to be in my car. I felt so grateful to have orange juice to bring back to Patrick. For a moment in my crabbiness I thought about those three words. Words I believe in.

Relax. Renew. Revive.

They aren't in a place, although a retreat with others making me dark greens with no children makes it easier to find. They are a state of mind. I can relax as I move through my daily routine and I can seek out ways to renew and to revive. In those few moments alone in the car, I found some gratitude and a moment of relax.

I'm back to crabby now. Still wanted to share this with you.

My 15 cleansers and I are on day 1 of 10 days and this is my favorite way to eat broccoli.

Sesame Broccoli In The Raw

3 cups of broccoli florets 2 Tb olive oil 1 Tb wheat free tamari soy sauce 1 Tb raw honey juice of 1 lemon 1 Tb tahini

1- tsp sesame seeds (optional)

Mix all the sauce ingredients together and pour onto the broccoli. Pour onto the broccoli and mix well. Top with sesame seeds.

Travels, Time and Tahini

Photo shoot with Eli trying to take some pictures for the site.

He is so happy to have 15 pictures with mama, he even shows them to people when they come over.

Ah, I'm back to this space that does more to lift my spirits than chocolate! With the shift from my former blogspot blog and website, to my now one complete site, I am starting to relax. It has been a process that has taken me far out of my comfort zone. With amazing support from my tech guy (thank you Mike) we are working on making the site mine. It's a work in progress and one that you will watch go through ups and downs until it reaches the place where it really is me.

I am headed to Florida for a conference with The Institute For Integrative Nutrition on Friday and it doesn't feel like my life. I have never left a baby before, I know Lucas will be loved and safe and supported while I'm away, yet I won't be there for his morning nurse and I wonder what he'll think. Time means so little to children, so much to us. I will experience for the first time in almost 8 years the quiet of sleeping in a bed alone, no children, no pregnant belly, no nursing, no snoring. I wonder if I will dream, how settled will I feel being away from my family? I think of the time when Patrick and I can go away together for a couple of days; could we perhaps go to Florida together some day?

Florida is a place I have never been. Stretching my comfort zone, meeting up with incredible Health Counselors and reuniting with a friend who has made her home in this land of sun and must be my life.

Now what will I bring to eat?

I have no picture at the moment as the batch has been devoured, but these little tahini chocolate balls are something else.

Tahini Chocolate Balls

In food processor place:

1/2 cup tahini

1/2 cup almonds, sliced or chopped

1/2 cup cashew butter

1/3 cup coconut oil

splash of vanilla

1 TB raw honey or maple syrup (only if needed)

6 dates, soaked for 2 hours, water discarded

Blend it up, remove and place into bowl. Using 70% or higher dark chocolate, mix in 1/3 cup chocolate bits. (I used a knife and thinly shaved the chocolate bar)

Roll into balls using about 1 TB of dough per ball. Place on a tray and freeze.