By now you have realized that isn't me. I am bigger, shorter hair and haven't worn blue eye shadow for at least a decade. I am not one for Barbies but this little character dating back to my sister's childhood I like. Her strength, messy hair, exaggerated make-up and power suit are awesome. Power and beauty work well together. We don't need to obsess about her skinny little waist, that is just how she happens to be built. No need to compare.
I have to tell you something. You've already guessed from the title. My clothes aren't fitting so well and I indeed have gained weight. You need to know this. It is my duty to tell you. I want you to understand that it happens. Not to everyone, but to those of us who have battled with our weight most of our lives, it happens. Stepping off the dieting roller coaster meant knowing that these times would come. It meant having some strategies.
It meant being honest.
Looking at the why of where you are is vital. It isn't about the weight but it is about the weight. It isn't about the number on the scale and yet it so is about that number or Weight Watchers would not be what it was. The diet industry is rolling in the dough ($$$) because it is about the weight.
It is about the flipping weight!
Here is what my weight says to me when I start to no longer fit my stretchy pants:
- You have a candida flare up
- You are holding anger
- You are not moving your body enough
- Something is making you fearful
- Looking for something to hide behind, you found me...mwah-ha-ha (evil laugh)
- Change is coming
- I wonder if everyone will still love you, respect you, admire you, see your beauty...
- Well, it's your story isn't it?
It says more but I can't tell all my secrets.
Here is how the weight feels for me:
- Pissed off
- Really sad
In the past my plan was of course to diet. I'm so good at dieting it sometimes makes me a little pissed off to no longer have it around. What happens to us when we gain weight? Sometimes we gain more, but usually we look for a way out of it. We get charged up, wanting to tackle it and show the scale or our zippers that we have power.
Let's use that motivation. I want you to channel it into something other than Weight Watchers or any other diet. Use that uncomfortable, fearful place that likes to hide behind food and weight and mess up your hair, put on your power suit and however much make-up you feel appropriate. Feel your beauty now. It is so hard, I know.
Close your eyes and imagine your body at the weight you feel most comfortable. Feel the lightness. Feel the joy. Notice what is surrounding that body that feels so good. It isn't a scale. It isn't fear. It isn't overwhelm.
It is beauty. It is joy. It is support. It is a coach. It is sweating. It is a fridge flowing with greens and eggplant and lemons and celery and hummus and... That's what I see and where I gain my strength.
It is a sense that you are in control. It is allowing. It is love for that amazing body you are blessed to be in.
Yes, it feels really rotten to have gained weight. But you need to know it because it is a signal for that next turn.
Look at your options. What is surrounding you when you close your eyes and feel your body in lightness and pleasure and joy? That's where we are headed.