a boat on the water.

IMG_8778 Jenny walked into the Loft and filled me with calm as she always does. She always has a few things with her, just as I do when I visit her. A bag of groceries, a given. Some tea. Often little gifts.

And on this day, some clippings to add to my vision board that was all about drawing in love.

She puts up this gorgeous picture of a man and woman walking out of a lake pulling a red canoe. The couple was pure beauty and the scene was what I was dreaming of, having just bought my sweet canoe, with nowhere for it to live other than Jenny's house in VT.

"But Jenny, my canoe is blue."

"I know, but his is red."

I am pretty sure I laughed. That picture became part of the story of how he came to me, or how I found him.


The first time I visited the Magic Lake House we only had a few overnight hours. It was April and there was no running water. The only heat the wood stove which I now have learned to light.

We made love for hours in front of the fire and slept until the early hours of the morning. Before we left we walked out onto the deck, the deck that would become home for me, and we stood looking at the lake, falling in love with every breath we took.

He talked about the kayaks and his boat and then mentioned his canoe.

"You have a canoe?"

"Yes, right down there."

"Is it red?"


"Of course it is."


I tried to tell him all the stories of how I found him. The puzzle pieces that all connected and wove the words that now want to fall out of me.

He would get frustrated when I would say, but that's another story for later.

My fear was that if I explained to him how I had manifested him from a blue canoe, his gray hair, my man jar, the moth, his name and down to the month we would meet that he might have trouble holding all of me.


"There are magic fish in this lake."

"Magic fish? Did you really just say that? Why are they magic?"

"Because all you have to do is stand in the water and they come up from everywhere and kiss your ankles. They are our magic fish."

"Do you know I teach magic?"


A boat on the water in Mexico, our first trip away together, holding red and blue. We walked a few miles in our swim suits to 5th Avenue and back along the water.

A boat on the water that he is teaching me to drive so I will be able to feel the freedom on the lake this summer.

A boat on the water from the song he texted one day was 'our' song. The one that makes my heart skip a beat, remembering the early days of how just seeing his name on a text would make my stomach flip flop. (Actually it still does.)

A boat on the water that sent out the vibration to the Universe that I was ready to be brave and find him. The one I found when I was holding the biggest question of my life. And the one that he would become the answer to.


"What did you write about before you met me?"

I wasn't sure. I had to go back and look. I spent time reading the stories from before April 2nd, from before he came to me and within hours changed my next steps.

I read about the doubt and the moth, the taste of a cigarette, the demons of satisfaction.

And Chewbacca.

And when I met him, I started to write the stories of our new life.


I am a story-teller. A manifestor. A magic-maker. I am the one who records the details in photo and words and then spins them into the tellings of the shaman-like bending of elements and future becomings in the feeling world.

I teach from story. I iterate from story. I fall in love from story.

A  story of a boat on the water; a story of a new vibration in time.