the celebration after the surrender




my life is about to shift in big, huge ways soon. i don't like transitions or change and yet i am in a constant state of them. as a highly sensitive person it can sometimes feel like the ground isn't there. like you don't know what is keeping you here because surely gravity can't keep your feet planted in the chaos.

and then you see where you are fighting. you feel it. name it. look at it. you love it up.

and you surrender.

in the last two weeks i have taken myself through this practice of surrender. and last night i cried. so many tears i felt depleted.

and then i woke up and i prayed. and my prayer became action.

i am new. i am now inside of a deep river of faith.


each time I look at my calendar and think about what program i’d like to run there is always a direct connection to where I am. over the last few years i’ve worked on creating a ritual, a practice of moving into surrender. and right now I am needing it again. i need to go into my practice, as I will again and again.

we aren’t perfect, flawless. we are change. we are beginning and iterating and choosing often at a pace so rapid our nervous systems can’t keep up.

surrender is the slow down. the space. the in between. the forgiveness. the prayer.


one of the things i have called in for this year is a monthly celebration. i want to look at what i have discovered, manifested, loved, dedicated, supported, lifted. i want to see and celebrate where i have been.

and dream of where i am going.

my first celebration will be that of surrender. of opening space to release, to feel, to pray.

and i will do the work. i will feel all the things i have been putting a pin in to feel later. later is now. i will do the work. and together we will find our way into the celebration.


maybe there will be blue balloons. or bubbly. or both. or a table set with your most beautiful linens and plates.

we will celebrate. because surrender is how we become.

and become we must.

i don't like transitions or change. and yet, now i am inside a deep river of faith. because i chose surrender.

so become i will. and celebrate we must.

i am ready to hang the balloons and plan the feast. when we do the work, on the other side is the freedom and joy we seek. and celebrate we will.