she is grace, love and abundance. she has taught me how to receive, how to understand, how to know myself at a deeper level. and she is moving. leaving the country for a year. she is selling all her belongings and moving out of the country. she is bravery. risk. and gorgeous.
her bravery triggered my fears. about losing her, being alone, being left. she is one of my secret weapons in business, the person i talk to about playing 'small' rather than wanting to be bigger than what my life and heart can hold. i pushed her away when i couldn't hold the sadness around her leaving. my fears in life and love and business were all unearthed as she prepared to move. and she is moving.
she has set up her life and love and business so that she can be anywhere. at any time. she is letting go of all she owns so she can be free and stretch to a new edge. there are tears and nerves and growing pains for her, for him, for all of us. my love and i went and helped her, them, pack up their home. we took her furniture and her energy with us into the second half of our lives together. her energy and blessings are pulsing inside of the physical things she is releasing to us. and she holds my heart, as she prepares to move.
her moving day feels like the moment i knew i would have a third baby and had lost myself and had to find her again. her moving day feels like the moment i enrolled in school to start a business that called to me and scared me. her moving day feels like the moment i told him i was done and my heart needed to be set free. her moving day feels like the first moment i paid for rent and food and bills for my kids and i all on my own from the money i earned from the business i grew out of nothing into something. her moving day feels like the moment he asked if he could kiss me, our nerves were palpable and we were both shaking inside. her moving day feels like the moment i decided to trust him to be my life partner, because it scares me that he might be gone tomorrow. her moving day feels like the moment i launch a new program wondering if i will be able to pay rent and feed my kids and plan the next six months of income. her moving day feels like the moment i believed in me, in her, in him, in my life's calling, in my family.
her moving day is a good-bye and a hello. an end that is the beginning. a fear that is love.
her moving day is everything i have risked to set up my life so that i can be free and circle and be there for my calling.
her moving day is how we change our lives. how we risk it. how we call in the next vibration of who we are becoming.
her moving day is her knowing that her business will allow her to be inside of freedom and joy and release.
her moving day is a promise and whisper and reminder and vibration for all of us that it is worth it. the fear. the uncertainty. the chance. the unknowing that is the deepest knowing. the iterations that are now. now.
she is grace. she is my constant. she holds me tight as i cry into her neck. she tells me that i deserve all of it. she promises me as she stands there on her moving day that everything that blesses me now is because i give and now the return is a million fold. she squeezes me as i tell her how much i love her and that i can do this, i can let her go because her going is freedom for all of us.
and she is moving. and she is so blessed because she is risk, she is joy, she is the knowing inside the truth that movement changes everything.