“I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be okay with being different, and with being this alive, this intense.” ~ Eve Ensler
the first is your own. the one you must say to find your vibration. it involves no one else and somehow the entire universe in two syllables. it is metaphor for you having chosen yourself fully, creating space to hold another. creating the intention of holding the ache that is the gift of my name to yours.
it is your sexy being strength softness knowing. it is your naked body standing up to go. it is the moment the seduction comes around again and plays with my skin no longer part of yours. but needing only yours. the cold that comes from our sweat.
the second is your clothes back on. the second is the kiss you gave me 10 minutes before. the second is the feeling of staying in my arms until you drift to sleep. the second is the one you don't want to give as you lower your mouth to my ear to my neck to my breast. the second is my safety. the second holds all of me. the second is when i moan.
when i exhale into your mouth. when you tell me you love my taste.
the third is part of the second. the moment when i yield under a body made for my own. every piece and part fitting together in ways others may never have known exist. we know. as though a secret held in a loon's belly, the howl she reveals to deepen love. it is my smile that won't release.
the fourth is the one I call you back for. i ache. i play with you in my mind and you feel it in my eyes. you try to walk away but the five goodbyes are my seduction for the moment we begin again. you are my circle with openings that brought all of you to all of me. my circle that refused to close because it knew you would find your way inside.
the fourth is the unspoken knowing that you can hold me.
the fifth is the whisper of promise that you belong to my body. spirit. future.
a kiss blown. a whisper as you open the door.
it is memory of the touch of your finger the first time it brought me beyond words. it is memory of your breath. it is memory of the heart i hold, your heart, that i listen to as you sleep.
the fifth can fill my eyes with water from a thirst that created you. a thirst that felt your eyes pushing inside my eyes the first time we said goodbye before we ever met.
the goodbye that was the silent moment of the beginning of a story of seduction.
Sexy and Sanguine returns for May. Details announced in Thursday's Love Letter. If you aren't subscribed, go stick your name in that pretty box up at the top right of this page.