I wake up to a friend talking about her Facebook blog link being reported and removed. It was a gorgeous black and white self portrait of her naked body in the shadows. The photo is incredibly gorgeous and could hang in an art gallery or The Dean Hotel. My friend posts a photo of herself on Instagram nursing her baby and she is left comments that no one would ever say to her face, including asking her why she has an angry face just because she wasn't smiling.
I check my Facebook notifications and someone has left a comment on the photo below that was taken for Sexy and Sanguine asking who else found it 'weird.'
I deleted the comment from the thread. Here is why.
Social media is my living room of sorts. I create it. I decorate it. I decide who walks into it. I pour the wine and put out the cheese and crackers. I invite. I lure. I draw you forth.
When you walk into my living room and are rude I will show you the door. You may leave. It is that simple.
I am not on social media for the purpose of arguing or being insulted. I will not tolerate women bringing other women down. You may have your opinion. You may talk about me behind my back. You may unfriend me or choose not to spend time in my space if you are uncomfortable or just don't need what I put into that space. But you may not be rude to me or anyone in the gorgeous tribe of women I have gathering in my social media living room.
I have blocked people. Unfriended people. It is not a discussion. It is my right.
It is so rare that someone leaves negativity in my virtual space, but when they do it is removed. Fast.
Social media must be safe. My number one job inside of these spaces is to keep them safe for me and those who choose to be with me in virtual space.
I love to trigger. I love to push edges. I am careful about what I post so my photos don't get reported while still walking a line that feels good to me.
I take a lot of pictures of myself. It is a vital piece of my work. I teach women to see themselves through their lens with eyes of compassion and to find themselves each day in the space they are in. I teach sexuality as a practice of self. I teach sensuality as a practice of self. I teach self adoration and allowing others to adore you. I am my subject. Not everyone will want to follow my Instagram feed and see a lot of me. The beauty is they don't have to. Only those who find the message and the sensuality and the prompts I put out inspiring or supportive need stay in my virtual space.
When I step into the vulnerability of posting a photo laying down in the sand with my hands over my breasts staring out at the ocean, paired with words that may be cryptic but hold a huge space in my heart, I may seem weird. Or it may make you uncomfortable to see someone who is a mother and business women live inside of that much freedom around her body.
You don't have to look. You don't have to follow me on social media. Those who do have formed an amazingly warm, loving, lift-you-up circle. Many of the women in my social media circles go on to take my programs and then become friends with one another. I love watching it. I love the shifts. I love the squirm of newness. I love the support.
I do not love or welcome or allow negativity.
I create my life, my business, my happiness. I make it my work each day to be inside of happiness.
My suggestion to my friend who had negativity left on her Instagram account was to delete the comment, not play into it, not discuss it.
I will make sure to post my friend's blog post so it gets as much exposure as possible.
And I will continue to delete negativity from my virtual world. Because it is my living room. And making space beautiful and welcoming and loving is my joy, my heart-song.