In High School I had a shit ton of downs. The lows. The times when he doesn't like you, the friend drama, the failures in math class, the people you love moving away (because you went to an overseas school) and because you have no idea you are a highly sensitive who feels the world in ways that are just a bit more dramatic and heightened and a little bit crazy (good crazy but a little bit crazy none the less), it can feel like too much.
I had no tools with which to get through the lows, the times that felt like I was somehow dying from the overwhelm of feelings. So I bought lipstick. Lots of lipstick. I mixed the colors and made new colors. Somehow a new tube of lipstick that I could transform into a hot color on my lips felt magical and a distraction from the reality of the downs that threatened to eat me up. My favorite was a deep red mixed with a brown that made the most scrumptious early 1990's color.
It was no zoloft, but it became one tool in my tool box. Part creation, part thrill of the new thing, part focus on beauty.
I am talking about lipstick, somewhat unuseful, a memory that floated up to me today. I had some hurts and there in the mirror, I stood mixing.
In Spirits of Joy (join us in July!) we have a prompt around finding your spirit guide. I've taken this prompt and expanded it for my Magic Making Circle and one of the prompts we did was to take selfie's while infusing our Spirit Guide's essence or mantras into us. You can find pictures to use as posing inspiration or feeling inspiration.
My spirit guide is a four year old girl named Magic. What I know about her is that 'they call her happy.' Magic is helping me find the daily moments of happy in my life. So my photo shoot for today's lipstick post was inspired by Magic. It was fun. I felt happy.
I played. I have been craving play like a thirst. It's deep. I adore laughing.
I also crave falling back in love with my blog. Which means getting back to the open place of sharing somewhat unuseful thoughts that can turn into their own magic through story and sharing.