The processing and #meatloaf

Not so much a processor, this body and mind of mine. Somewhere in my heart, my spirit I must take it all in. I am so quick to move on, to forget to share some words or moments. With all of you or myself.

This was the final #operationselfcarelikewhoa event. Actually, there was a first and a last! Nothing in between but a bit of a confidence crisis. The first #osclw filled up within 24 hours with 15 women. The second was cancelled due to low enrollment. The last one made it by the skin of its teeth.

I had heard filling events in person could be tough. I didn't realize it would be tough on my spirit. So when the final event came and some of the women had to cancel, we had a circle of 5. Sarah and I guiding and 3 women bringing all of themselves to form our circle.

I got scared. My confidence hit a low. I worried about energy output and how a small circle would work, if the women would feel too 'on the spot' or if it would just be too intimate. My favorite number to gather friends is about 5-7 so I knew that if the energy of each woman who walked through the door was open and ready it could be magical.

But I was nervous. I was feeling a bit of uncertainty. Right where I needed to be.

Hours before the event I embraced the intimacy of our gathering. I wrote up an intimate photo hunt that we would all share and invited my community on social media to play along. The Instagram community had posts before any of us did. Bringing my larger community into feelings of intimacy with these events makes me soar.

 Months and months ago I wanted to start to move into smaller intimate gatherings. I visioned having 3 women come to The Loft together to dream, to do some power work on their businesses, to shop, to eat, to have an experience of biz meets #osclw. I got scared of the price I would need to put on that time together. I worried no one would come. I worried and knew it wasn't time.

This last gathering of #osclw was the signal, the download from the Universe that it is time to follow my longings of my soulwork.

My confidence crisis brought me back so I could focus on where I'm headed. My energy is shifted #likewhoa.

I am willing to invest in myself, my self care, my business, my heart, my spirit, my needs, my desires. I am willing to believe that others will too.

I loved witnessing Sarah inside of her fierce and gentle gifts of circling women. I love collaborating when it feels so damn good. And easy. And grounding. Her energy and friendship are light to me. We don't have pictures from her healing circle because it is inside of an Urban Spa and lights are low and phones are not invited in. Let me just say; think pink salt room glowing with the energy of giving and receiving. Think goddess glowing. Think shift.

From the moment these women walked through that Loft door each of us started to shift, to shed, to crack, to heal. Yes, this can happen in 24 hours, in 15 minutes. If you believe. If you show up. If you want it.

One of the women left to applause as she announced a huge knowing that she was leaving with. We all cried and laughed a lot during the weekend. Sometimes it really only takes 15 minutes.

If you believe.

If you show up.

If you want it.

I spend days, weeks, prepping for each event. I spent the week before getting meatloaf in the freezer and squash roasted. Finding the right wine. Setting it up just so. I am learning to honor the time and love that I put into these events, I love it so freaking much. It is part of what I must do.

And I make a damn good meatloaf. I'll share the recipe.

Turkey Meatloaf

2 pounds dark turkey meat, 2 eggs, 1/4 cup or more almond meal, chopped parsley, chopped kale (like 1/4 cup of each), 1 TB tomato paste, 1/2 cup finely diced red onion, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes. Mix it all together in a bowl then place on an oiled baking sheet. I usually form two meatloaves out of it. On top spread some ketchup and bake at about 375 for 35-45 min. Check internal temp with meat thermometer to be certain.

Photos::

1. Flower set up. Every event, even my fun friend weekends, have flowers everywhere. Sometimes I am guided by a color, this time PINK! I fill all my little jars up and spread them around The Loft. Once the flowers are out I feel like everything can happen now, the magic can arrive.

2. Dear Universe Wall. I have a string of twinkle lights with little clothes pins and cards and a sharpie waiting on a table. The invitation is to write a prayer, to commune with the Universe. To ask. To be heard. To practice surrender. To say gratitude.

3. Intimate Photo Hunt. This was so much fun, we'll do it again. When you have events with people who have never met, one way to take the fear out is to give them a project, a task. This was a beautiful way to see moments together, to have some fun with our cameras after the more intense circles and conversations. And it connected us with the community that has grown to thousands on social media. On Instagram go to #intimatephotohunt to see all the gorgeous pictures.

4. Set a gorgeous table. You could do meal serving beautifully in brown paper bags, on a picnic blanket, anywhere. Just make it beautiful. Let everyone eat with their eyes first. Take time with the food prep and the eating. Have a conversation starter ready for the meals so they are being guided along with the flow of the gathering. Clean up. Always clean up quickly, I learned this one over time. Clean up time is now my processing time.

The details matter.

5. Make a mess. Always. Get messy with paint, glue, dirt, sand, water, something during a gathering. Dirty equals play and movement. These are essential to the gatherings. And yeah, clean up.

6. Share little things during events. I have a few handouts usually and pages of prompts, etc that I give to my women at gatherings. These prompts and pages can help anchor. This was a gorgeous photo copy page of a person with a feather dangling down their naked body. We all wanted to vision around this image and see what it meant to us.

7. Vision book. The main way I coach or guide is through vision work. Sharing this time together is special and we were blessed by seeing one of the most gorgeous vision books I've ever held. We learned the secret to making the book pop is by making sure the cut outs overlap into the seam. Pop!

8. The group shot. Don't forget to grab that photo of all of you together. This one was accidental and we loved it so. These women were truly amazing. (Photo by Kelly Ann)