When I launched Spirits of Joy last September, on my birthday, in gift form as part of my practice of gratitude, over 600 women signed up in one day. I didn't even have the head space to take in that kind of number. My paid programs can hit about 200 over the course of a month and despite the fact that it was a gift it is still a powerful exchange of energy to sign up for a course, and it felt really big.
Big in a way that I wasn't sure I was ready to hold the bigness.
I had the bones of the course but needed to fill it in and simplify it for the 30 days. Every time I would sit down to write I would go blank, numb out or start crying.
I skyped with my coach Britta.
I cried into my cloth napkin. I was in an upper limit crisis and she held it with me. Softly we talked about my fear of being so seen and witnessed and that now every word felt like it was being judged or held infront of eyes that would surely tell me I was a fake. I cried more.
This is a place we will all get to, most likely not just once. When we move past what we have held as limiting beliefs and into what we at a soullular level have always known to be true.
She had me send her some test letters from the program. And each one I sent she explained why it worked, why it was exactly as it should be, why I didn't need to push any harder.
I manifested my coach into my life.
A couple years ago I connected with a publisher or book agent or something (I can't remember) who lived in the town Britta lives. I remember adding to my visions that I would work on my book, my writing, my message in word form with a woman from this town. I couldn't remember her name or website so she was really indescript.
Britta came into my life through one of my Joy Up programs.
One day shortly after she became a book coach. We have been coaching each other since. This woman from this town who is helping me with my message in word form. I like to say I manifested her. She is also one of my best friends. We match.
My book coach is having a baby. Well, two babies actually.
Her family of four will soon be six and I am wrapping them in love bubbles as I know how this transition will feel a bit like my upper limit and last a hell of a lot longer. You know the thing you've wanted so deeply and then you get even more than you expected? Like that. I imagine twins can feel like that.
I am in a place of transition and discovery and bigness in so many ways right now, in this moment.
My coach sends me notes to let me know I am being seen and has taught me how to share more details so that I can connect to my readers in the way I long for, they long for.
She breaks shit down for me that I could never see. Each time I see an email from her it is like opening a love note (my love language is words of affirmation) and I trust her to guide me closer and closer to my book.
One day we had a drink together in her magical town.
She asked me one question that changed everything in my life and allowed me to move into my truth. (For now I keep that detail my own!) That was us as friends, thank you Universe for friends like that.
This is my love note to Britta.
Britta, the way I write, the way I show up in this world is forever altered and my spirit feels her wings because one day I manifested you, from your town, to help me share my message through words.
Damn, I visioned that one right.
When I launched Spirits of Joy again, this time as a paid program, I was able to look back at the last 5 ish months and see and feel the bigness. I remembered the cloth napkin I cried into. I saw the women in my mind who showed up for themselves and started to learn how magical visioning is.
And I needed to say thank you.