"I remember thinking this was the most feeling person I had ever found and I thought it was just all too much."
This was from one of the women in my tribe who has made such gentle, soft changes to her life over the last year. I was cracking up as she told me her reaction to my blog when she first started reading. She went on, "I thought it was too much but I couldn't stop reading it. I was hooked, I read every word."
What she didn't know then was that she was a highly sensitive person. While she had spent years being told to numb out her feelings here I was rolling them out for the world and inviting her along. Giving her permission to feel, feel, feel.
Often my clients say I have a magic wand. The wand is magic simply because we all are born with magic.
I found myself recently spiraling inside of created feeling rather than truth feeling.This is the place were you push the edge of sabotage. I wanted someone to get angry at me. I was searching for a push away so that I didn't have to feel that one tricky emotion that I have become so adept at stuffing down.
But more than that this time, a new sadness, one inside of dreams coming true. Sadness that must flow through as the magic twirls around.
Oh yes, the peeling. The layers.
The feeling we have been dreaming into reality one day is there, shows up. And we want to run.
I wanted to run, to do something to prove I didn't deserve it. To go back to the old ways that I know so well.
I walk into yoga, the theme of the night is surrender. I spend time with a friend and find myself hearing the word surrender fall from my lips. I come face to face with how I want to feel but the layers of sadness must be shed first, surrender. I am slipping into a healthy amount of space so I can radiate my light, surrender.
The fish shows up. Spirit guide that won't let me turn away.
Evolution of spirit. Awakening of one of the senses. Visions.
Swim, slide, glide, vision, ease, grace.
Remember the good witch? She tells Dorothy she had the power all along but how would Dorothy ever have known had she not walked with her spirit guides, experienced the fear and joy, shed her tears and slipped into surrender.
There is magic in feeling, accessing that huge exhale of surrender.
Magic wands of feeling, visions that arrive at 4am, peeling our old hurts. Hearts desiring anything we can dream into reality.
I will link arms with the fish, the witch, the surrender and skip on those yellow bricks.
Like a dance of magic I will ask you to follow, follow, follow...into your own truth feelings.
We aren't ever off the path, this journey goes on and on. Spirit guides will change as we call them forth, lessons will be relearned over and over.
And dreams, they will show up, you won't know what they will like look but you will have already known the feeling of them.
Slip like the fish inside of these beautiful dreams and surrender to the moment when you will say, "I created this. This magic has always been inside of me."
So now I say, "I created this. This magic has always been inside of me."
And it feels so fucking good, even in the tears.
Please join myself and the 80 gorgeous women who are ready to surrender...