From a bit of soulwork in The Holiday Joy Up. Today I write my letter filled with wishes and thank yous for the year past and the year to come and invite you to make space to reach out to the magic that is waiting around you. Password:: Friday
My littlest (4) has never been sledding. He was two the last time we had a blanket of snow and the two big kids took turns on our one little sled. I wish for him a blanket of snow if he wakes up on Christmas morning to a sled from Santa.
I have visions of Chloe (10) playing the guitar alongside me, learning our favorite songs together. Singing together. Letting our spirit guide fox help us connect to that passion inside of us.
I see Eli (7) learning to play golf to help him understand his emotions and also to finally get down that last little bit in the splits he has been practicing every day.
I have visions of Patrick (41) owning his passion and place in your beautiful world.
I asked so much this past year. I am floating in the sea of all you gifted me when I saw, wished, prayed, manifested and was guided by your visions.
To travel my work, to connect deeply, to heal my relationship with my belly, to be brave, to hold space for so many women who were along on the journey to joy through ritual, trust and magic.
I am going to the West Coast 4 times this year. Seriously, 4 times. You believed me when I said I was ready to open my wings. I feel such softness and love to you for that. I pray that my work is enough thanks and that the pay it forward effect is powerful beyond my wildest visions. You are kicking me out of my cave, aren't you?
Slowly I am moving myself out of this retreat and slight isolation of the last year, or so. A time when my senses needed to draw inward, to learn and understand trusting myself and my feminine intuition. This is scary shit sweet Universe. Scary shit.
I prayed to you. I visioned with you. I haven't stopped. And now I'm a little bit, ok, I am tired and filled up all at the same time. I am ready to trust that I can take a small break. That I can blink my eyes, take a nap, go days without turning on a computer. I wish for the strength to be in a place of soft pause, floating, allowing all that has been to sink in and take hold with deep roots.
For the last month or so I haven't been able to keep my house and space clean and uncluttered. I know why, I've been exhausted and confused about things but I gotta ask you for the energy to bring my space back to the beauty and openess that I need now. So maybe if I take a nap or something? Let's work on that one.
I visioned women who would help me on the path to healing. You sent me so many that I feel I must have won the lottery as each one has come so that I could learn how to reach out, to be vulnerable and to ask for help. I never knew how to ask for help, truly, before this year without feeling weak. Now the power it provides me with helps me understand the quiet magic behind what I do in this world. You have allowed me to start connecting the dots, your stars and stand under the moon in a connectedness of love for this gorgeous world I have been blessed to be part of.
Shamanic journeys, tattoos, past lives, soulwork, spirit guides...I am hungry to learn more, to keep going, to not be afraid of what the angels know.
Every woman our energy together has brought me to work with has been an echo of my journey, of my energy. Please know that I will continue to have profound faith in the magic that can be found in that energy. I wish for each woman who trusts in my guidance that they will know that faith energy as I know it.
As you know, you and I have been on a mission of making space and I need to ask you to help me find ways to have more space so that I may spend time in stillness, deep body knowing and passion. I'm ready to let go of what I keep thinking that should look like and let you do some of your wand waving. I release...
It is hard sometimes on this beautiful ride magic maker. I understand why. I am recieving. I am listening. And I am forever wishing, visioning and doing my work, my freaking gorgeous work.
Learning to accept this ride as though I am on a magical boat, trusting the waves, the anchor and that we navigate together.
I often wonder if thank you is enough and yet it must be. Simplicity right? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
P.S. So, I'd also like to throw in a request for a bra that doesn't hurt, that feels comfy and holds these boobs that nursed for 7 years of their lifetime up nice and pretty. Baby making and nursing days are over and I'd like to treat them well.