The picture that confirmed deep inside that I would get a tattoo, actually a series of tattoos, was this gorgeous photo. The class, the boho, the softness, the fierceness. Yes, this is who I truly believe I am in my soul. I felt a kin-ship with this woman I had never met, I felt the calling to express myself and mark time; confirmed in one glance.
So I pinned it. Stared at it. Thought about how I would translate it into my spirit.
I learned everything I know about manifesting from two sources. My vision boards and feathers. I am on the newness of the manifesting realm and every time I find a feather I feel as though I am apprenticing with a master, the Universe, a goddess, a guru. I find feathers because I focus on them, I believe in them, I know that they will show up. My home overflows with them.
The feather is the gift from the bird.
I am not impulsive. I wanted my nose pierced in college and finally did it when I was going through a crazy time in my life, three kids, feeling completely brave and more like myself than ever before. 16 years later.
I thought about this tattoo and if I could really be OK with the permanence for years. I rearrange furniture every month, how could I believe I would still want this marking after a month, or two days? I thought about my friend's tattoo on her wrist. I have loved it since I met her when our first babes were not even 2 years old. I still love it. It is one of my favorite parts of her because it feels familiar, safe, bold and soft all at once. Another friend, mama who entered my world at the same time has my most favorite tattoo that she designed and it extends from the middle of her back out onto her shoulders. It is divine like she is. When I see it I feel her essence even more.
As my 38th year approached Patrick said, "I'm getting you a tattoo for your birthday, so time to decide." Shit. Decide and commit? Not me. A feather, a word, a symbol...back and forth. I kept going back to that beautiful picture of the woman sitting on the bench, smoothing her hair. And then one day I saw the bird. The sweet little sparrow, classic, free, soaring, gentle.
The bird who gives me these lesson in abundance each time I find her feathers.
A symbol of spirit, connection (my superpower), softness, love, beauty, desire, being fiercely me. I will add a few soft arrow bands around my arm soon to complete the vision I set out to meet. I am proud of my mama self for being brave. Taking a risk. Sitting down with an incredible soul who talked with me about living in the now while he drew my lifelong bird friend on my wrist.