My guiding word for the year is magic.
I like to give each month a name, or place a guiding phrase behind it so that I will know what I'm working towards. September is the month I am turning 38, an age I have been excited about for a long time. 38 feels solid, secure. I have my children and now watch them grow. I have a gorgeous business that I am nurturing and bringing to a new place. I have been married for almost 14 years, together with Patrick for 19 years. Oh yes, I said 19!
Things scare me. Jumping out of an airplane. Getting a tattoo. Having those conversations with my man that affirm that we aren't always connected, that a new phase of the marriage is coming. I think tattoos and conversations can be quite sexy, so the jumping out of a plane is not going on the brave list, not so sexy to me.
Being brave is saying, I am not feeling so happy right now and I need to tell you.
Being brave is going to the place in your heart that knows the little secret longing you have and listening to it.
Being brave is giving when you have little.
Being brave is getting that ink you have always dreamt of, even though permanency is scary as shit.
Being brave is connecting in new ways, when you are safe sitting in your house, on your couch, with your computer in your lap.
Being brave is choosing the path to healing, not the quick fix.
Being brave is caring for someone else when you most need to be cared for.
Being brave is taking a breath when you just want to scream at the kids for fighting, again.
Being brave is the 12th carload to the salvation army because stuff everywhere doesn't feel good even though letting it go hurts.
Being brave is letting them ride their bikes around the neighborhood without you.
Being brave is figuring out how to be sexy again, after years of growing children, nursing them, holding them every night.
Being brave is creating the next program, having faith that it is right, it is time, it is now.
Being brave is believing Oprah really is your friend on Instagram.
Being brave is going towards the unknown of all of it.
Being brave is saying Holy Shit!!! Holy Shit!!! Holy Shit!!! three times on your blog.
Being brave is that yoga class you swear you are going to start taking on Tuesday nights.
Being brave is public accountability for that yoga class, the tattoo, that next program. (What else did I just promise I was doing?)
Being brave is not having the bladder surgery and leaving pride at the door. Yep, bladder is gonna' rock it out in physical therapy.
Being brave is putting the four year old in one day of day care so that you can finally have one full day to work, co-work at that!
Being brave is our now.
Being brave is saying that jumping out of a plane is so not happening, cause I gotta' be me. This new version of me that is being brave. In my own ways.
Wanna join me? September, all I ask for my birthday is that we can do this together. Brave is our now.