With hands placed.

Surgery was suggested. I will wait. A lifetime to make that decision.

The leaking of my bladder became worse in April after the worst flare up of IC that I have experienced. I was angry. A 37 year old body. I kept thinking how unfair that was. But is it 'fair' at any age? Don't we teach the kids that 'fair' isn't what we are looking to find in this life, but rather freedom and passion inside of ourselves.

So fair? No. That is the old story.

The moment comes when you are ready to tell a new story because you are ready to stop holding on to what was.

My bladder leaks. Now I must strengthen it. I must learn to use this body of mine along with all of the resources and healers waiting for me. On a daily basis I can handle the leaking with chemical free liners and I am no longer feeling the shame of this.

There is a gift of nurturing myself inside of this strengthening I will be doing.  I place my hands over my bladder and my belly each time I start to feel a flare up and I breathe light into myself. I ask my bladder what I must release so that it can settle.

With hands placed I let go of what was.

Filling with joy for what will be.


More from the bladder story::

Prayer. Feet. And the beauty.

As our body cries out.

The pain of the present.