There is a stillness that washes over, after something nestled inside your heart is nurtured and released. Post Joy Ups I spend some days in weepy reflection. Quiet meditation, happy exhaustion. I light the candle with intention that I may learn how to be in stillness and let go of what was and what will be so I can feel what is now. Easy to write, a challenging practice.
Asleep at 9 pm, a nap for an hour the next day. This is a rhythm that feels unwelcome. Rest. Stop. Peel away. Slowly I'm learning how to listen to the advise I speak. Wanting nurture for you, must mean wanting nurture for me. How many of us women feel better as the giver, struggling with the role of receiver? Questioning if we are giving the right things meeting the moment when we need to be given.
The pull of needs from three children seeking time and focus, a business longing to burst in its abundance, a body starving for movement, a marriage wondering when its time comes, friendships to make space for, more greens to chop and blend, big ideas looking for room to pop, the puppy that just can't stop jumping on guests that walk in the front door. This is my story. My truth is that I am ready to expand into more simplicity and presence.
My soulwork, now, is spilling my heart in the stillness.
You look at a picture and forget how frustrations were building and the chaos that managed to stay out of the frame. What matters is the way the light shining down reminds you that this moment was beautiful. The stillness is not literal in my mama life. It is a time when I clear clutter, cry some gunk out, try not to push during the pull and look around.
My soulwork is opening up to expansion of joy.